I don't denounce God, any God. I don't think that one religion is more believable than any others. I simply am not religious. Most days I don't think about religion to be honest, I'll see someone saying the rosary on the transit on my way to or from work and think about it again. It's not a thought process that last longs normally.
Today I was sitting on streetcar and today, street after street, someone was yelling at people about hellfire and brimstone, demanding if people had found God and claiming that all the wrong's will be righted-if-you-could-just-open-your-heart-to-Jesus. In true Torontonian fashion I usually cruise by these people or avoid eye contact as the streetcar passes. Today, I stared unabashedly at them, not mocking, but thinking. This led to me actually going to church. I haven't been to church since the baptism of my baby cousin months ago, and even though, I'm guilty of really not paying attention to a lot of what's going on. I just went in and sat down. There was a service going on, and it went on around me. I had to seriously resist the urge to just take out my novel and read through the service. Not to be rude or disrespectful, but this place was just so...peaceful - for a lack of a better term.
There was this stillness that was almost inhuman, under all the human noises. A Catholic would tell you that's God's presence, I can't say if that's what it is to me. What if this notion of "God", is just that? A great stillness. Not a deity that created the Universe or man or animals or those Tim Horton's cups that only succeed in burning your hands, what if God is just still nothingness?
It got me thinking, do other religious places have a feeling to them? What does a Balinese Ashram feel like? Or an Indian Temple? I started thinking a lot here, what if that's what "God" is, feelings? Not an in-the-sky-Deity, but a human feeling?
I know that people find comfort in religion, in knowing something bigger, higher than who are are, something neutral to our human feelings has our back. I think religion connects us on a very intimate level because if you think about it, the greatest argument in religion is over what happens before you're born or after you die. Why? We're human! We don't want to blink out of the Universe and have it not mean something or have no reason other than we failed to continue existing. We want something to require us being gone, a high power that "needs us for something else". We think we're too human to be able to govern our own lives without these inhuman rules in place on how to treat one another.
This was when I first bumped heads with religion. I come from a very traditional Italian family, with parents and grandparents that don't believe in same-sex marriage for the reason of religion. I stand for marriage equality, maybe not within the Catholic church (they have the right to dictate who gets married in there,) but as a whole. I stand for treating people fairly no matter what they've done or who they are, whether they practice your religion or not. I stand for people having the right to decide on their faith. I stand for not discriminating on people for not sharing your values. I stand for above all, not classifying your faith as the "traditional values" faith. They are traditions to you and you alone, do not make the rest of the world abide by your traditions.
I think that Roman Catholicism has been ruined for me by people. Weak, terrible people have found a large amount of power through religion. This power allows them to openly dictate how someone should live their life. I don't believe that any person has the right to tell you that you're going to hell, although that rarely stops them.
I think the best way to lay it out completely is in letter form:
Dear Stranger;
I realize that we've never met yet, so I suppose the best way to start this off is by saying hello.
Hello.
I don't know if we'll become friends one day or if we'll even keep talking. Heck, I don't even know if you'll read this letter. I really just wanted to let you know a few things. A few really important things.
First, I don't care what your religious background is. I grew up Roman Catholic, and stayed quite confined to that, please don't be intimidated by that. Do you have a different faith? I'd love to talk to you about it, but please respect the fact I'm also allowed to have my beliefs, I will respect your faith as well. I want to learn what you think about the world, we're going to be friends right? What makes you passionate about the world, what do you think when something goes wrong? What happens when we die?
Second, I don't care who you go home to. Boy, girl or undecided. That is your choice, I just hope that they make you happy and that they treat you with respect and vice versa. If you need any support or someone to talk to about anything I will be here the best that I can. I want to be invited to your wedding, wherever it is. If you don't believe in marriage then I want to be invited to whatever kick-ass shindigs that you throw whenever. Even if it's just Thanksgiving- I can make a mean turkey.
Finally, I can't change the minds of the people that will say those hurtful things to you for not sharing their beliefs. If it meant turning myself blue in the face to accomplish it, I would. I promise, at the very least I would try. Don't believe the people that tell you you're going to hell. What am I saying, we might very well end up there; but on the bright side a lot of great people will end up there as well. I've always wanted to have an in depth conversation with a Buddhist monk and they're all going there apparently. I promise, as a friend, that you will have a safe person to talk all your opinions with, even if I don't agree or believe in the same thing you do. We're friends, I want to know what makes you tick! I hope that you can share the same in my thoughts, even though I did just kind of lay them all out here in a letter.
Anyway, I really do have to run. The cat is trying to eat the guinea pigs again...Thank you for being my friend. I look forward to our conversations in the future.
Your friend (and potentially cat wrangler);
Kaileigh Russell
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