"I'm fat therefore I cannot have an attractive boyfriend"

This was the title of a Tumblr post made by a Youtuber that I've been following for a little while and for some reason it made me so angry. 

This plus-sized girl was bombarded by messages after showing her (by all society's standards) hot boyfriend off in her videos. I think it bothered me a lot more than I was expecting because I was there when I was dating my ex through the end of high school and into University. As someone who has always struggled with body-image issues having the "hot" guy want to date you makes it really easy to spend countless nights going, "well why in sam hell would someone like him want to date me." You can ask him, I asked that question on almost a daily basis. My self-worth was going through a landslide change because in my head hot men date hot women (or other men). Instead of it becoming a source of empowerment I ended up spiraling downwards because:
A) I constantly felt like I owed this boy something just for dating me
B) I chalked his worth as a person up by his looks. 
C) Nothing I could ever do was good enough because he was hot and I was fat
D) My self-worth became dependent on the relationship - without him I was a fat loser

It's disgusting that at this point in time we still put an emphasis on the way a couple looks together over the way the are with each other. We encourage beautiful people to be with beautiful people and put them down when their significant others don't fit the bill. That's terribly degrading and destructive to someone. I can't speak for everyone, but if I even had half the confidence I have now in high school, I would not have been dating my ex for half as long as I did. It's alright to put both men and women down for the person they fall in love with because of their looks. It doesn't matter that I have a grade f***king A+ personality and am generally just freaking awesome and deserve the best - I settled for the first good looking gent who showed me attention because that meant more than my own sanity. 

I know I'm not the only girl or guy to have done this, completely rely on someone to make you feel good about yourself, and I can honestly say it never works. I think the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower explains it best: "We accept the love we think we deserve." I didn't think I deserved someone society deemed attractive because that's what people said, so when it ended, so did any sense of my worth as a human being. 

Even reading this back to myself is hard at this point in my life - knowing that with all of my being I didn't think I deserved the best because I was, and am, fat. And yes, someone will ask - I am single, very much so. Not because I don't think I deserve love, but I still have a bit to go before I'm at a spot where I can honestly say I love myself completely enough to let someone share that with me. Let's be honest here, I'm awesome enough for two people and have no trouble in just being in my own skin for awhile. I deserve the time to get it right with myself, because nobody else is going to be in your mind if you get hit by a bus in a freak accident saving a kitten from impending doom and wind up in a coma for 6 months. 

I'm not sure who reads this - I know I post links to places - but if anyone out there feels the way this title states then this little bottom bit is for you. 

You deserve the best. Tall, small, short, fat, curvy, skinny, black, white, brown or green. It doesn't matter if your thighs touch, your bum kind of resembles cottage cheese and your belly gets in the way when you try to tie your shoes. It doesn't matter if your boobs are mosquito bites and your thighs haven't said hello in years - you deserve exactly what you want. 

Don't let your looks define the way you are with someone. You are awesome - you are, you. Go get a mirror. Now. Do it. Look at your reflection. Those eyes, that nose, that mouth is awesome. That brain in your head that makes you say fantastic and beautiful things, makes stupid decisions and smashes your shin on that coffee table-you-know-is-there-but-never-think-about-it-when-the-lights-are-off makes you awesome. 

Taking back the meaning of Movember

This is a hard post to find the words for, mostly because I have always been incredibly upfront about my feelings about Movember. I'll just come out and say it; I hate that dirty strip of hair over a man's lip. However; because this is done for such a great cause I can honestly put that aside, no matter how much I don't like the way it looks. 

The hardest part of this post was and is trying to come up with the words that don't take away the meaning of this campaign. So please, no matter how I come across here know that this is a great and important campaign. This needs to keep happening and the support for it is incredibly important. With that away we go! 

I have a major problem with the way Movember has been going and no, it's not because of the facial hair. It's this:

I've talked to a couple of people about this and my feelings on it I've gotten a variety of reactions. The biggest being, of course women would try to get in something that is focused on men. To which I say, bullshit. Bull. Fucking. Shit. Any woman should be allowed and encouraged to support men in a raising funds and awareness for a "male" issue, in the same way a man can wear pink in support of breast cancer. 

What I'm talking about it's deemed disgusting if a woman doesn't shave anywhere for a month, even if she's showing support for the Movember campaign. I realize that a lot of people will shake their head and think I'm turning this into a feminist issue - and honestly if that's your thought - shake away. 

The first tweet here is the one of the ones that has me scratching my head the most. #KeepItClean. 

Because if a woman doesn't constantly maintain herself she's dirty and disgusting. Part of my frustration comes from sitting on Tumblr and seeing people anonymously asking some of the people I follow if they're disgusting for having periods while dating people. Why, why, WHY is it so ingrained into our brains that our natural selves are just dirty and not good enough for us to feel attractive. That somehow the fact that we're not shaving our legs or lets just get it out there PUBIC HAIR dictates we're not worthy of feeling attractive. 

Now I'm not saying that women who do these things are fake and not gorgeous, some people are just more comfortable getting their landscaping on - and that's fine. Some women think they're gorgeous without it and that should be fine too. 

These two tweets I've seen reproduced again and again and again. Women shaming other women for being disgusting for not shaving and thinking that women who leave everything the way it is are nasty. 

What's nasty is this completely overbearing need to dictate body image and covering it up through a movement meant to help prostate cancer and men's mental health - both very important issues.

Now, this post is shorter than I wanted it to be - I may edit it later, but I have to get up early for work tomorrow. I leave you with this:

Boys: 

- Good luck to all you Mo' Bros out there. May your upper lip sport the dirtiest most money-raising and change inspiring facial hair.

- To all of you supporting and raising money for this amazing campaign, I hope you do awesome.

- To all those affected by either prostate cancer directly or no someone who has - this month is for you. 

Girls:

- Do not feel pressured into feeling like you need to look a certain way in order to be attractive. If the fact that your legs are hairy is enough to send someone running for the hills then let them get as far away from you as they want. 

- Don't shame other women who may be completely comfortable in not shaving any part of their body into thinking they're disgusting or nasty. 

Don't let hype overshadow the real reason this campaign is happening. Show your support, any way you feel you can. 

Gender/Sexuality Stereotyping and Halloween Costumes

I think I found the most disturbing video I've seen on the internet and no, nothing but acceptance and common sense dies in it. 

This video is part of ABC's 'What Would You Do?', a series of undercover videos that put the unsuspecting public in situations that involve a range of issues from abuse and bullying to discrimination. I've watched a ton of these videos, as most of them are on Youtube, but this one I believe is the worst of all of them.

I'm assuming that you went ahead and watched this before you kept reading, if not go do that and I'll wait here for you....
Alright, so in this video a child actor (one male, one female) are out choosing Halloween costumes with an actress playing their mother. In it, the young boy wants to dress up like a princess for Halloween and the young girl wants to be Spiderman. The actress playing the mother is against it from the very beginning and it escalates when the child puts on the costume, with the actress saying she wants to "nip this in the bud" before it continues to see what peoples reactions are. 

I'll tackle the way the young girl was treated and reacted to first. One woman and her friend stood up and approved of the young girl wearing the Spiderman costume, reasoning that it was indicative of a strong girl, and that the world needed more female Spiderwomen. This girl was told by complete strangers that she needed to be a princess and girls are prettier as princess' because that's what they're supposed to be. "If she's Spiderman she only gets to be that for one day, if she's a princess she gets to be one 24/7," like real girls are supposed to be. There is so much wrong here with the way these strangers inserted themselves into this young girl's personal identity. The woman who stood up for this girl brought up the fact that, without actually saying it outright, she felt this mother was trying to avoid her child "turning" into a lesbian because of her choice in male-oriented costumes. 

The young boy's reactions just honestly broke my heart. Every single woman that reacted did so in a, while polite, negative way. Focusing on firefighter, policeman or superhero and typically male-centered costumes. They empathized with the mother, one woman even saying her own son did they same thing but she stopped it early and that it was just a phase. They even went so far as to allow their younger sons to say, "Ew, that's for girls," and laughed about it. I was completely blown away at the sheer reinforcement of gender stereotypes when it comes to Halloween costumes. You are allowed to dress up and encouraged to be creative as long as it fits into the strict female/male boxes you fit in as a child. There are exceptions to these, like having 2 feet of snow on Halloween as a kid and having to have a costume that fit your entire snowsuit underneath...I was a pumpkin a lot...

To get back on point - we wonder why we're seeing so much gender stereotyping in the world when we're actively promoting it through a holiday that's supposed to be fun! Instilling this thinking of: you are a girl, therefore you are a princess and you are a boy, therefore you can only be masculine is completely deprecating to our society. Another massive elephant in the room during all of these interactions, that existed almost exclusively for the little boy, was the "issue" of him being gay because he wanted to wear a dress.

We're allowing and promoting sexuality-based stereotypes in these young kids that transfer through to adult life. Because a male is more drawn to what's viewed as "feminine" clothing he must be gay or homosexual. Masculinity is so typically tied into clothing and appearance that we can't stand to think of a heterosexual male existing in a more feminine way. What was put forth with this actress and affirmed with parents is the need to "break" this way of thinking, even though it makes the child happy. I just am so incredibly appalled that we could allow kids to feel ashamed because of their taste in clothing and expression. We're so progressive about same-sex and gender oriented rights and yet we're still teaching boys that wanting to wear a dress makes them gay and teaching girls that want to represent a heroic male figure that people won't find them pretty. I realize that this is just for one day, but it's not just a simple matter of them wanting to wear a costume - this creates a lasting impression of what is right and wrong for a child. Not only is this enforced by the parents, but perfect strangers are making children feel ashamed for the things they like.

They're kids! They like so many different things! I went through phases where all I wanted to wear was a corduroy bunny costume my mother made me - I wasn't trying to fit into an ideal "gender" role or make people happy - I wanted to be a bunny dammit! That was the same year that also wanted to wear this red corduroy dress and my Aladdin hair clip nonstop. 

I could have been whatever in sam-hell I wanted to be for Halloween and I was. I wasn't forced into a gender-specific costumes or looks just because I was a girl, the first girl grandchild in my family, to give some context. I'm still not that way now. My three favorite material/patterns are plaid, safety orange and camo and I still like men - according to society I am massive walking contradiction! I, as an adult, have gone into stores wearing camo workshirts and been called a dyke, an assumption based solely on the way I dress. Because I'm actively interested in male-centered things I'm supposed to be a lesbian and am looked down on because I actively don't feel comfortable in typically female clothing. This does not make me any less of a woman, nor does it mean that I associate more as a man then a woman - it means that if I could wear ONE outfit for the rest of my life I would not be choosing a dress! I don't go shopping and assume I can only buy clothing that looks feminine because it is 2012 and I can wear whatever clothing style I want - something that we're not allowing children to do.

Just because I don't want to end this post on a negative note, I've included a story that really just gave me hope for the future and brought on a serious case of the feel-goods. This article is about a German father who supported his sons love of wearing dresses and skirts by sporting a skirt himself out in public. 

His son was too scared to venture out in public wearing "girls" clothes because he didn't want to be laughed, so this dad in all his awesomesauce-ness found a creative way to make his son feel comfortable in his skin. "“I didn’t want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts. He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already, and after a lot of contemplation, I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself." Was the quote he gave papers for his decision. 

You can read the entire article here: 

I can say with a 150% certainty that my child will wear whatever the hell they want to, no matter what society deems appropriate for their gender. If I have a son and they want to play with barbies and wear dresses, that's what they're going to do - and I will not assume he is gay unless he comes out. If I have a daughter and she wants to wear cargo pants and monster truck shirts and play with cars then she's going to do that, and I will not assume she's a lesbian unless she comes out. 

Gender stereotyping and sexuality stereotyping is a completely medieval way of thinking in this day and age and although Halloween is truly just one night the implications of choices can last a lifetime.  

The rotten, no good, stinking awful bad day.

I am not someone who uses their blog just to complain about their life or the bad things that happen to them, unless you already think I do that…and in that case prepare to not be disappointed!

I was trying to find an eloquent way of phrasing this, someway that would make me look witty and funny and light-hearted, but honestly it’s just one of those days where I just can’t. Today just blows. That’s it – simple as that, today sucks [insert animal of choice’s scrotum here].

It started at the very moment 11:59pm, October 21^st became 12:00am, October 22^nd. My fantastic neighbour decided to blast salsa music loud enough to shake my walls while I tried to para barail la bamba my way to sleep. This resulted in two phone calls to the police complaining about the noise, each punctuated by the guinea pigs wheeking up a storm in some convoluted reasoning that I was up, therefore it was breakfast. It was not breakfast. It was 12:30am.

It felt as though I had just fallen asleep when the cat thought he’d seen a haphazard plan for me to leave him, because he glued himself to my chest in a way that would have made liquid cement jealous. After trying to pry him away which just succeeded in reinforcing his thoughts on being abandoned, I gave up with him clinging to me for dear life and fell asleep with the cat strapped to my chest. If he wasn’t so damn cute he’d have gone out the window.

At 6-deargodthat’searly-something my alarm screeched to life, waking me up in a way that made me feel like I’d downed a couple bottles of wine the night before. I hadn’t, I’m pretty sure I looked it though, because for the first time since I got him the cat just waited politely on the bed for his food. I got out the door and blasted music just as the streetcar blew past me, four minutes early and kept going even though I ran for it realizing halfway there I left my coffee in my apartment, where it’s sitting right now most likely feeding the perpetual fruit flies.

At this point, I’m so incredibly frustrated with my program and just the future I can just feel my blood pressure skyrocketing. I know a lot of people can empathize with feeling, but I’m trying to find a job in Toronto. I’ve applied to over 30 jobs and followed up with many of them to see where I can “improve” and this has ended in me having them tell me I’m over-qualified for a position. I’m over-qualified. I want to be a bloody cashier! “Why don’t you apply for public relations jobs – you have a lot of experience!” That would be great if I was actually qualified for any of those jobs. It’s like I’m stuck in some trying-to-find-a-job-hell’s version of limbo and I can’t get out. Do I make myself look less employable to get a job? Is that really what I’m going to have to do?

I’ve just arranged a meeting with my parents because as it stands now, I’m looking to move back home and try to find something to do in terms of work. Is this where I wanted to be at 21? Living at home with my parents? It’s starting to look like adult Kaileigh grabbed a ticket on a greyhound headed out of Toronto and left me here with bills and responsibilities and like 40 copies of my resume.

I would say it’s only going to look up, but I have to take the TTC home tonight and relying to the TTC to cheer you up is like giving a monkey a loaded hand gun and saying don’t shoot. ThisdayisalmostoverThisdayisalmostoverThisdayisalmostover.

Adopt-A-Friend-Friday

So normally for my Adopt-A-Friend Friday's I go through the profiles of different kitties and pick a couple that seem in the most need of a little signal boost. This week is going to be a little bit different because I've actually gotten a chance to meet this week's kitty at an Adopt-A-Thon I volunteered for. 

So without further ado, please meet Simon. 

Those eyes! When I first met Simon he was a little bit shy, mostly because of the busy Adopt-A-Thon environment but it didn't take him long to figure out humans= love! If he doesn't make you swoon over those big green eyes, his absolute love for cuddles will. In the 15 minutes I sat beside him he did all kinds of kitty yoga poses trying to prompt me for more scratches and with a face like that how can you say no? 

Simon's a one and a half year old cuddle monster who definitely needs a home with extra love to give out. Words cannot describe the amount that I just wanted to bundle him up in my coat and take him away with me to my house! 

Some things to know about Simon? He's looking for an experienced cat family and although he's great with other cats, a calmer kitty friend would make Simon the most happy. Simon would do best in a home with older children as although he's a gentle giant he likes to tell you what he wants when he wants it! 

Does your home sound like the home for Simon? If it does please contact Toronto Cat Rescue to arrange a meeting with Simon! 

The next two on the docket for today are a pair of brothers that I also got to meet through the Adopt-A-Thon I volunteered at and let me tell you they are amazing. When they weren't striking super adorable poses trying to entice adopters they were asking for some love! 

These two brothers are Billy and Dean.

Billy

Dean

We kept referring to these guys as the bookends because they looked so alike and they were never far from each other! 

These young boys are playful, rambunctious and seriously in love with people. They won't hesitate to climb in your lap and spend a good amount of time getting comfy before falling asleep. The best part about these guys? They're not cheap with the purrs! A good head scratch earns you as much purring as you can handle. These two deserve an amazing loving home with a ton of love and fun to make these guys happy. 

Although these guys aren't a bonded pair I would love to see them go out together because there is no doubt they adore each other. They spent the entire day cuddled up with each other when they weren't meowing or sticking their paws through the cage for cuddles! 

Do you have enough room and love for these two amazing boys? If you do please contact Toronto Cat Rescue for information on how to bring these guys home! 

All of these boys are currently located at the Pet Valu on the Kingsway. 

And all you're ever going to be is mean.

The Amanda Todd story has been making headlines everywhere so it's really no surprise that this has been a story that made me think. A friend of mine and I went out to dinner and just talked about Amanda's story and just bullying in general; this got me thinking further and I suppose this post is just a summation of my thoughts on the whole thing. 

First off, talking about Amanda's story - if you don't know what this is about please read this before you continue on. This is most definitely not the first person I've read about that's committed suicide due to bullying and unfortunately I know this will not be the last. I think what's the most disturbing, other than the fact that 15-year old girl committed suicide,
is that afterwards people are disputing whether or not she deserves the sympathy and people are still bullying her online – after her death.

I think the biggest thing that everyone forgets is that this girl was 15 – she was still a baby. She didn’t even fall under the legal sexual age of consent in Canada (which is 16). She was dealing with things that even I, at 21 years old, would find tough – and she was doing them at 15. It got me thinking, why do we look past the age based on the type of bullying that’s going on? This girl was sexually abused and sexually exploited, not physically, but sexual abuse doesn’t have to be physical. She was abused but our culture says that she put herself in that situation at 15 and thus deserves the title of skank, slut and whore. We don’t throw any blame at the person who posted those photos, but yet again blame the victim. Shouldn’t we be there, supporting someone who was sexually exploited at such a young age? Canadian law does not allow for the fabrication or possession of child pornography and that’s exactly what this is. Why hasn’t this person been charged? “She’s a slut – she deserves it” is a disgusting mentality, the fact she’s had so many people tell her to go die or go kill herself is heartbreaking.

Now, I grew up in a small-ish Northern Ontario town and knew most of my graduating class from elementary school, but honestly there was no bullying to this magnitude. Without sounding like “kids these days,” is bullying actually morphing into something way beyond the coping skills of pre-teens? I honestly think so, I mean you had boyfriends and girlfriends at 15, but you held hands and then went home and maybe, maybe *gasp* made out. There were no naked photos posted on the internet or Facebook to verbally attack people for being sluts.  Has social media actually created a super easy platform to just bully the crap out of people? Yes. A thousand times yes. Kids are cruel, but now they’re cruel with wifi access and photoshop.
I found this on Tumblr last night.

 

Now, I’m not sure if it’s true, it very well might not be – but for argument’s sake, let’s say it is. This picture disgusts me. Not the comparison, or downplaying of another person’s suicide but the fact that it’s so easy to just ignore the backstory of a person as long as they fit our requirement for funny internet content. I’ve seen this photo attached to memes everywhere and then saw this comparative photo and couldn’t help but feeling terrible for not wondering who this boy is. How terrible is it that he could have been bullied to the point of suicide for his looks and doesn’t even get the decency of not being bullied for them after his death? Are we that ignorant as a culture we don’t even think of the person behind a photograph anymore as long as that photo is part of something funny? I realize that this isn’t everyone, but take for example Matthew Lewis, the actor who played Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter. Up until he hit puberty everyone thought he was ugly, and it wasn’t until he wasn’t “ugly” any more people began to get incredibly mean about saying that. I know, I was one of those people and it honestly didn’t even hit me until yesterday that, although I didn’t take to the internet with it, I was completely okay chalking up this guys’ worth by the way he came out of puberty. It’s disgusting. I was disgusted with myself for it.

Honestly, I just don’t have the right words for the calibre of bullying that is present currently. 12 year-olds with Iphones and calling other kids “dumb cunts”, and that’s okay – even within my generation, the bullying just continues to ramp up like it’s following some ridiculous curve from the younger ones.

We can justify making fun of one “ugly” guy meme and think it’s hilarious but we feel absolutely terrible when a young girl or boy commits suicide. It’s such backward thinking on an issue that’s so important. What if every single person you told do go die actually did? How many deaths would you have caused because you didn’t like the person, thought they were a slut or just too weird to exist? Honestly, hold yourself accountable for your own words because nobody else might. We can be our own biggest critic but we can be our own biggest motivator to rip someone apart.

Start thinking about the way you treat people, the homeless guy on the corner, the girl you think is absolutely ugly. Make it a habit to keep your own ignorance (and we all have them) and biases to yourself. Stand up against bullying and not just on the internet. Those people that need help exist beyond the keyboard and so should your help.

 

The school rant

I'm frustrated. I'm so incredibly frustrated. I feel like I need to start this blog post like that before you continue reading and think I'm some ranting and raving lunatic. 

I'm beyond frustrated with my University, so frustrated it's becoming an internal dilemma every single time I have to commute there to go to school. Is it worth it? Should I actually waste my time showing up? You're probably wondering what prompted this barrage of frustration and believe me, I will let you know. 

Today, our program head came into our transition to work class to explain the internship for the winter semester. In it he explained that the internship will comprise of 240 hours, assignments and you will be helped to look for an internship by a faculty mentor assigned to you. 

The reason I'm pissed?

I took my internship in the summer. I paid the exact same amount in tuition as the winter semester will, I was completely on my own (save for the few emails exchanged back and forth between the prof and myself) and I had to complete 280 hours. I payed the exact same amount of money as everyone else and did not get any guidance as my placement coordinator left halfway through the summer on maternity leave and my prof was gone the last two weeks of the internship on vacation. There was no ability to meet with people in person, it was all done through email and online.

When he said this, I asked my program head if we would be given some sort of mentoring program if we had already completed our internships and his response was - "No. That's for the students who are doing their internships currently or trying to find them." That means - if you didn't sign up for the summer internship course someone is going to be there to help you find an internship. That's bulls**t. If you're going to offer the same class two separate times you cannot stipulate that only one semester gets help! I worked my ass off to find my internship, as did everyone else who found one and just because it was only really feasible for us to complete our internships over the summer does not mean we need to be ripped off. Tuition is a lot of money and I work really hard to afford to go to school, the fact that I can pay the same amount as everyone else and have it justified by "paying for convenience of taking the course over the summer," is BS. 

It's just so frustrating to be told that because you completed the same course as everyone else will that you get to be counted out of an opportunity for someone with industry knowledge to mentor you. It's also completely idiotic that if you wanted to ever do your internship abroad or even locally over the summer you are left solely to your own devices. On top of that, requiring that you complete 40 additional hours of work compared to everyone else is completely stupid! 

I could honestly just scream at this point. I know, normally my posts have some factual argument that comes from the news or what have you, but this week that seems to just not be happening. 

Dear McGuinty Government;

Dear McGuinty/ McGuinty Government;


I know in normal cases you're supposed to exchange pleasantries, in this case I’m going to just go ahead and skip those because I have a lot to talk about and I’m trying not to write a novel here.

I realize that you’re probably never going to read this – and that’s ok. Apparently venting frustration is therapeutic and thanks to the internet, someone is going to read this. My hope is that this someone finds a way to pass this along to you because frankly, you need to hear this. I’m going to tackle this letter one issue at a time. I’m sure you’re aware that the last Ontario Northland Train left Toronto last Friday at 9:30 am. The biggest reason you gave for the cancellation of both the ON passenger and freight trains?  Money. Cash. Cheddah..  

Mr. McGuinty, I know you’re not from around here. I realize that your voting base is stationed in the heart of southern Ontario and I realize that the north is not anywhere close to the top of your priority list. I’m not telling you how to run a province but I am telling you that we matter. There might not be as many of us in the north, but we are just as important as the south and just because our voices aren’t as loud does not mean that they are silent. You are appointed to represent the people of this province, Mr. McGuinty, all of the people of the province.

Mr. McGuinty, by cancelling the passenger and freight train service to Northern Ontario you’ve cut off the north from the south. I know that seems a little melodramatic, but let me put it into perspective. The main use of the train for the people in the north is getting to medical appointments – something you’ve said is alright, because we have suitable alternatives. The alternatives are: very nice friends and family with cars and flexible work days, planes and buses. As someone who has taken all three I can tell you these are not accessible to everyone. Not everyone has access to vehicles – or friends and family that can access vehicles, sometimes driving to southern Ontario is not an option. Flying is ridiculously expensive – before Porter Air came to Timmins it was cheaper for someone to fly Toronto to Trinidad than it was Toronto to Timmins. Some people can’t fly after medical appointments and this leaves them with one option – the bus.

Mr. McGuinty, I’m going to ask you step out of your political role for a second, and think like a human being. You live in Timmins, you have a wife, and kids and elderly parents that live just around the block – they keep “popping” over without calling more than you’d like, but hey! C’est la vie, right? Your mom recently broke her jaw in a car accident and needs to be sent to Toronto for care. Now, your parents aren’t that well off, and you neither you nor your wife are able to take the time off work to drive her there and your dad just can’t make that long trip. She’s not allowed to fly, because of the pressure on planes which means that she has to take the bus. She’s in pain and now she has to sit for 12-16 hours, alone on a bus. Isn’t that frustrating to think about? Well, I know at least one person that this has happened to and contrary to popular belief; OHIP doesn’t always cover travel costs to get to appointments in the south.

Mr. McGuinty, what if this was your family this was affecting? What if it was your elderly parents or grandparents or kids trying to get home for the holidays this was happening to? You are here to represent the province and I, a 21 year-old lifelong Ontarian, am telling you, you’re not doing that. On top of these budget cuts I learned today that ten Provincial Parks are going to have their services cut because they’re costing too much money and not being used enough. Mr. McGuinty, do you go camping? Yes, a huge part of Ontario is the bustling metropolis of the south, but a major identifier of Ontario and Canada is our wildlife and natural resources. I know I’m biased, but there is nothing like a Northern Ontario night by the campfire with family and friends. You are providing a death sentence to a major part of Ontario’s heritage on top of the many Northern jobs you’ve effectively ended. But hey, you’ve saved money, right? How did you come to those decisions? Did you go to all ten of those parks, or did you simply look at a report that ranked them in order of which makes more money? Mr. McGuinty, I don’t have experience running a province, but I can tell you that you’re taking the easy way out with this decision. Easy leadership is cutting something that doesn’t appear to be working, real leadership is fixing the problem.  

Mr. McGuinty, it frustrates me to no end that the future of politics seems to only be going to help the south and focus on the south. Sometimes money doesn’t solve everything, sometimes you have to do the right thing, just because it’s the right thing. Thank you for showing that it’s alright to ignore social responsibility in order to save a couple of bucks. We’re Canadian, we’re known for being proactive in women’s rights, free health care and equality – apparently that is only true if you live south of North Bay. I know you’ll rebuttal this and point out that it’s for the greater good of the province, blah blah blah – but for the greater good, isn’t good enough.

Mr. McGuinty, we teach kids that the most important thing to do is to share and to be fair to everyone around them, despite how they may treat you. This is something we teach kids up until the time they’re adults, when suddenly those rules don’t seem to matter anymore. Looking at Ontario politics I can see why these rules stop mattering. We have a leader in place that openly ignores an entire portion of the population because there just isn’t enough people in it to matter. Mr. McGuinty, every person matters – people are not always statistics and dollar signs, people are important and that’s a value that’s held very dear up north. Canadians are seen as these super friendly people where everyone knows everyone and yes I’m being incredibly biased, but nobody I’ve met embodies that quite like Northern Ontarians. At our very core we are living, breathing and feeling human beings, not budget cuts and losses and increased taxes.

Mr. McGuinty, I’m going to end this letter as I’ve realized it’s getting quite lengthy by asking you one question. At the very core of it, what matters to Ontario?

 
Yours truly;


Kaileigh Russell
21 year, Timmins Resident

Dyke, Faggot, NoHomo and That's So Gay

A friend of mine showed me one of the most interesting websites I've ever come across. The University of Alberta launched the website http://www.nohomophobes.com/, a website that acts like a social mirror, showing how many times the words Faggot, Dyke, No Homo and So Gay are tweeted. The point of this is to show how much homophobic language is used and how little people think about it before they use it. 

As of 6:40 pm 

At 6:40 pm the word faggot at been tweeted almost 17,000 times. That number astounds me. On top of having the the number of tweets, they also post the tweets as they're coming in. This results in a never-ending stream of hate and negativity with very few tweets not using these words in a derogatory way. I believe that this is the point of mirrors, show us exactly what's there, not sugar coat things, even if we don't like what we see. I don't like what I see. 

I watched the stream for about ten minutes and saw maybe two tweets that were not using these words in a derogatory way, this shows me that we have a problem. People think that bullying is only when someone is personally attacking another person, and in some of these tweets there was a lot of blatant bullying. I view all the misuse of these words as a form of bullying and there is very little being done to stop it. 

A good friend of mine pointed out to me, what if someone who was at a very low point in their life stumbled across this website? What if someone, someone who felt so terrible about themselves, for who they were, found this website that used all these words to describe what they are as insults? We justify calling someone a faggot by saying things like, "well he's not really gay - I mean he's just an idiot or weird or stupid." We justify people calling a negative situation gay by saying things like, "well they didn't mean it."

What do people mean? When you're using homophobic language to describe negative situations you're saying exactly what you mean. Your words say that being homosexual is something negative, whether you think that's what you're saying or not. I'm by no means innocent of this, it wasn't until the last couple of years I realized how detrimental this is - for many different words. I have made it a habit to check my language before I open my mouth. 

It needs to not be okay for this language to be allowed. I know some of you will point out that you can't make believe accept something they don't believe in, and I agree. I can't force someone into thinking being gay is okay - nor should I want to. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. However, as much as you're allowed to be straight, people are allowed to be gay; if you don't approve then by all means stay straight. This falls into language, just because you are not gay does not give you the divine right to use homophobic language in a derogatory way. You have the right to choose but you also have the obligation to be a decent human. 

We use sexuality as this qualifier of how good you are as a person in this day and age and it's disgusting. Even Facebook wants to know what you're interested in! Why is there such a focus on sexuality when nobody wants to know about it if it's not theirs? You're pushed to be out and proud as either straight or gay and there's this middle fault line that just gets glazed eyes and nods of "mmhhmm" as a response... Up until this year I honestly knew very little about bisexuality, asexuality, transgendered or pansexuality. And now, in modern society, in GD 2012 we still operate under, "well as long as you're not gay." 

Who care who someone goes home with! Who cares who they are intimate with! I'm not in bed with you, by all means get as freaky as you want with whomever you want! I don't think a persons sexuality defines who they are - far from it. You're a person before your sexual orientation. 

I realize I went on a bit of rant here, but this is something that strikes a nerve. I've seen how the use of homophobic language can and has hurt people. I don't care if you think it's right or not, if you're not going to stand for same-sex couples then at least have the decency to stand up against bullying. People are being hurt because of something that can be so easily stopped! Do you think that at least some of those people would think twice about tweeting if someone tweeted them back telling them they're hurting people? I can guarantee it. 

In less than two hours the word faggot was tweeted 2179 times. The term NoHomo was tweeted 1034 times. So Gay was tweeted 848 times. And the word Dyke was tweeted 343 times. Collectively that's 4404 tweets using homophobic language and only a small number of those tweets will have anything remotely positive about them. 

Are you going to be part of the solution or part of the problem?

Need someone to talk to? Need support? 
Please don't hesitate to contact any of these resources. You are not alone. 

Youth Line - Support for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans Teens
Youth Line

GLBT National Help Centre
GLBT

Adopt-A-Friend Friday!

Toronto Cat Rescue is a 100% volunteer run, no kill organization. What does that mean? Well nobody is employed at TCR, it's all volunteer based and no cat that comes into our care is put down, unless they have extremely serious medical conditions that will allow for no quality of life.
What does this mean? In order for us to take in more cats from high-kill shelters or stray cats  we need to find forever homes for the cats we have! 

Everyone loves kittens and a lot of the times it's easier to bring a kitten in to your life. Cats live between 10-20 years with good food and proper care - bringing an adult cat into your life gives you many years of love with a cat that already knows the ropes! They've been to vets for numerous years, are litter trained and loooove love! They're often just as playful as kittens and just have a ton of love to give. 

So without further ado, please meet Phoebe! 

This sweet long-haired tuxedo cat is a lover, of people and especially of other cats. She loves to cuddle and kiss and shnuz all the cats she's staying with - even the ones that don't usually like cats. 

Phoebe was rescued from a high-kill shelter where her time was up. This six-year old lady would love a forever home with plenty of windows for her to spend her days lying in and watching the birds and squirrels. 

Does your home sound like it could be Phoebe's one? If so, please contact Toronto Cat Rescue to arrange a meeting! For more information on Phoebe please check out her page!

No child left behind: an educational recipe for apathy

Let me begin by saying that this topic is incredibly controversial and different people have vastly different opinions on this subject. 

I'm talking about the no-zero policy and the no-child-left-behind policy in regards to education. Please be aware that these are my opinions on this topic, and I welcome any kind of healthy discussion. 

 

To start, a bit of background. The no-zero/no child left behind policy involves the grading of elementary and middle school children. In essence, no child in elementary school can fail - an F now just means that a teacher will do their best to make that child pass. This policy was brought to light with a recent article by the National Post regarding Lynden Dorval (a teacher fired for giving his students zeros) being hired by a seperate school to teach.

Now for the past two years I've worked for the Catholic School Board in northern Ontario, I worked in an elementary school that was listed as having the worst EQAO test scores in all of Ontario. My job was a tutor for the grade three's and six's that required more one-on-one attention to do well in the testing. This is where I first came upon a huge issue - grade six students who did literally no work all year, who graduated into the 7th grade. These students sat at their desk and blatantly refused to do a shred of work because they didn't feel like it -without parental consent (which was never given) these students were given a D and made their way up to the next step in the education ladder.

It makes me sick that that happens. I know that the blame falls divided - some people blaming the education system, specifically the teachers - others the parents. I'm going to come at this from my perspective - from working alongside the teachers in the classroom.

I think it's BS that teachers are being blamed for kids not doing well. Sometimes, the teacher/ student relationship for learning just isn't there - and I realize that. In my experience, it's not a teachers job to sit with one student for the entire day who refuses to do any work. In a class with twenty other students, spending countless hours with one student who just "doesn't feel like it" comes at the price of those 19 other students. This younger generation (for the most part- I realize that's a generalization) is so apathetic when it comes to learning. I remember being excited for school and if I didn't like an assignment I did it anyway - because that's what you did - or you failed. You didn't want to be the kid that gets held back a grade because it made you look like an idiot - especially if it was because you just chose not to do any work all year.

Now there's this ability for students to just choose not to do their work because they feel like it and they never have the consequence of failing. They go through the education system right up till high school with the assumption they can control what they do and don't want to do and they'll be rewarded with the next level of education. How is that alright? How is that ok? This is not equipping the future generation with the tools to know what's right and wrong. You don't get rewarded without first putting the work in and this is somethign that they'll never learn.

You can't hand a child and education when they've done nothing. That's not how the real world works. There's this assumption that it's detrimental for a child to be held back socially but the solution isn't throwing them into high school without ever having done anything! What is that child with the grade one reading level going to do in high school? All of a sudden find his/her inspiration to do well or drop out when he/she hits 18?

This education system doesn't build better kids - it gives children an out from putting any effort into school and it allows everyone to just blame the teacher for not doing enough. We're going to end up with a generation that expects to be rewarded without ever doing any work and that's terrifying.


This blogpost comes from the National Post article by Jen Gerson: http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/09/19/lynden-dorval-captain-zero/ 
 

Shoals Technologies: Making solar technology and nearly-naked women make sense

                Nothing says solar power like have naked cowgirls in bikinis!

This PR disaster made me laugh over my lunch break because of just the sheer absurdity of it. Shoals Technologies, one of the largest solar manufacturing companies in the world hit the 2012 Solar Power International convention with a new line of products called the the “Nice Rack”.

            Sticking with the traditional, women are objects stereotype, Shoals dove head first into the insensitive pool by taking the cheap laugh way out in terms of advertising. Their “Nice Rack” product line of solar products featured ads with thin and busty young women in skimpy bathing suits. This was accented by Shoal’s “Nice Rack” party, with tickets featuring a busty blonde cowgirl who is obviously getting ready to explain the inner workings of solar products…

We get it, it’s easy for companies to slap an image of a sexually appealing woman or man on their product and sell it. They don’t think people will question what a busty brunette has to do with solar power (obviously she’s working on her tan – duh), but instead will desire the product. It worked for body wash, right? Wrong! Shoals was not anticipating such a negative backlash as was evident in their response to anyone who hinted they should rethink their marketing strategy.

 Mary, a woman who was incredibly offended by the adverts, sent them a detailed message of why their company was deplorable for its campaign; she was replied to by an employee of Shoals with, “Thank you for the compliment. Sent from my Iphone.”

The public then started to take to Twitter, where it was met with more snark than an offended sixteen year-old. The #NotBuyingIt hastag began to be used in an attempt to get the point across to Shoals about how bad their marketing campaign was being received, and what did they do? Retweeted the people who were using that hashtag in an effort to poke fun at the situation. *Face palm*

It only went downhill from there. Now deleted, the Shoals twitter account began auto-snarking anyone who made a negative comment about them? Couldn’t believe your friends were being insulted by a company over Twitter? They were happy to oblige! The worst moment consisted of the Shoals account tweeting at #NotBuyingIt user promoting the applications for next year’s “booth babe” position. I couldn’t help but laugh; it seemed obvious that the Shoals Twitter account was single-handedly attempt to commit brand suicide.

Even the President of Shoals Technologies Group, Dean Solon, was embracing this babe-centered way of advertising, changing his LinkedIn profile photo to one of him and two “booth babes”. This just shows how grossly unprofessional a company can be when it comes to mixing its online presence with its real-world one. As the president of a company you’re an embodiment of the brand, in this case, Mr. Solon is representing the largest solar energy manufacturer in the world. This profile photo looks like some creepy old man was attending Comic-Con and found two pretty girls who would take a picture with him. Brands and companies require trust, taking a photo three-some with “booth babes” only inspires people to shake their heads in shame.

It wasn’t until a good time later that Shoals actually issued an apology…sort of. Through their Twitter @ShoalsTech they tweeted, “If anyone was truly offended, our apologies. It was all in the most light hearted fun possible. Enjoy your weekends.”

Oh! Well as long as snarking and being incredibly rude to your potential customers was in light hearted fun then! They also released a more detailed statement on Facebook:

As you can see, people obviously didn’t accept it right off the bat and I have to give props to them for actually apologizing, even though it just makes them look two-faced and ignorant. By explaining their actions through their “leaving stuffy corporate attitudes behind”, they’re opening themselves up to more negative feedback. I have some right here; you want to leave stuffy corporate attitudes behind, don’t go with a cookie-cutter sex sells ad campaign. There is nothing innovative or new about throwing a picture of a woman barely wearing any clothes in a campaign; do not use this to define yourself as a cutting edge brand. By having respect for the women in your field, why don’t you showcase them wearing clothes? Even your final sendoff, “Our mama’s raised us right,” lends itself to think there is not a single woman employed with your company!

This entire fiasco is just indicative of companies need to think before they go ahead and blast information at people. Half-hearted apologies over Facebook and Twitter is about as meaningful as a bully having to apologize via a Facebook wall post. If your “mama’s raised you right”, then you should know that when you do something wrong, you go face to face and own up to it. Not hide behind a computer screen.  

All information taken from the article by Imran Siddiquee on misrepresentation.org. Link can be found here: http://www.missrepresentation.org/notbuyingit/notbuyingit-solar-company-advertises-nice-rack-party/

Adopt-A-Friend Friday

I realize that I missed last week's adopt-a-friend day, not the greatest way to start this off! Today I will be featuring two feline friends who are looking for a home!

First up is Indie!

Indie is a 5 year old, female, domestic short hair. She'll melt your heart with her sweet little chirps and cute baby face. Indie loves back scratches but isn't the biggest fan of being picked up, she makes up for it with her love of scratches and being brushed. This girl is a percher and loves to take in her surroundings.

What makes Indie special? She's bonded with another cat, Saba. 

These two girls are a bonded pair, which are often times harder to place into homes. If you're able to open your home and heart to these two lovely ladies please contact Toronto Cat Rescue. 

Up next is a gorgeous two year old, male, domestic longhair named Dodger.

Don't let his serious face fool you, this boy is a giant teddy bear. This big boy would love nothing more than a forever home where he can get all the lap time he craves. Dodger needs a forever home where he is the only cat as he doesn't get along well with other male cats. 

This boy had a rough start, he was found abandoned outdoors and picked up by a nice person before being brought to Toronto Cat Rescue to find his forever home. 

What makes Dodger special? Dodger is FIV positive. Cats that are FIV positive do live normal healthy lives, but to make sure of that Dodger needs a life with a healthy diet and little stress.

If you have room in your home for this giant cuddle bug please contact Toronto Cat Resue