So it's been through the past few months that I've definitely been thrown into some situations that have had me feeling like I shoved myself under a bus while simultaneously telling the driver to punch it. This has allowed me to add to my list of ways to torture an introvert.
"You just need to get out of your shell"
It's not a shell. That prickly exterior is actually just me!
It's not that I hate people - I do actually quite like people, I just don't like people all the time. I don't like to go out of my way to talk to people all the time because that stresses me out. I'm totally comfortable with people taking the lead occasionally because that's how I roll.
"The fact that your bed is the most exciting part of your weekend is sad"
It's really not.
I spend five days a week surrounded by people - people that (while I love every moment of it) suck the happy juice right out of me with a straw. I need a day or two to just recharge and miraculously I get two of those days to myself every week! So I don't go crazy and go out all weekend - I don't recharge like that. Coffee and the internet binge for a solid 12 hours pretty much fills my happy juice tank.
Some people recharge by being with people. That's awesome.
Some people recharge by being as far away from people as possible. That's awesome too.
"You just need to be more outgoing - then you'll meet someone to date"
See that's a terrifyingly narrow way of looking at things. I can be outgoing - but more outgoing? That's like telling the Pope to be more Catholic. Why isn't being me enough?
It is enough. I am enough.
I will still be enough in two years if I'm still single and still love spending weekends on the couch on my laptop.
"You're a PR person - isn't it your job to be outgoing"
Yes. While I'm at work.
And I am outgoing at work, I love going and talking to people and the butterflies that it still gives me. I love that nervous feeling right before I talk to someone new or call someone for the first time.
I don't have to be outgoing 24/7. I don't have a defaulted "outgoing" setting that doesn't have an off switch. The fact that people assume I am always out and happy and energetic actually is very stressful!
"The reason you never get invited anywhere is because you hate hanging out with people"
I will admit - I am terrible at keeping plans with people. I always jump on the plans excitedly and then the reality of actually following those plans catches up with me. Either I'm exhausted from the day of or have a million things to do the next day and it's just all weighing on me.
It's not that I don't have fun when I'm out. I love hanging out with people - it's just that impending weight of knowing I won't have enough time to just recharge my batteries before the coming week and knowing I'll be drained by Wednesday.
I love hanging out with people a lot - I just also love me a little more.
