Gender/Sexuality Stereotyping and Halloween Costumes

I think I found the most disturbing video I've seen on the internet and no, nothing but acceptance and common sense dies in it. 

This video is part of ABC's 'What Would You Do?', a series of undercover videos that put the unsuspecting public in situations that involve a range of issues from abuse and bullying to discrimination. I've watched a ton of these videos, as most of them are on Youtube, but this one I believe is the worst of all of them.

I'm assuming that you went ahead and watched this before you kept reading, if not go do that and I'll wait here for you....
Alright, so in this video a child actor (one male, one female) are out choosing Halloween costumes with an actress playing their mother. In it, the young boy wants to dress up like a princess for Halloween and the young girl wants to be Spiderman. The actress playing the mother is against it from the very beginning and it escalates when the child puts on the costume, with the actress saying she wants to "nip this in the bud" before it continues to see what peoples reactions are. 

I'll tackle the way the young girl was treated and reacted to first. One woman and her friend stood up and approved of the young girl wearing the Spiderman costume, reasoning that it was indicative of a strong girl, and that the world needed more female Spiderwomen. This girl was told by complete strangers that she needed to be a princess and girls are prettier as princess' because that's what they're supposed to be. "If she's Spiderman she only gets to be that for one day, if she's a princess she gets to be one 24/7," like real girls are supposed to be. There is so much wrong here with the way these strangers inserted themselves into this young girl's personal identity. The woman who stood up for this girl brought up the fact that, without actually saying it outright, she felt this mother was trying to avoid her child "turning" into a lesbian because of her choice in male-oriented costumes. 

The young boy's reactions just honestly broke my heart. Every single woman that reacted did so in a, while polite, negative way. Focusing on firefighter, policeman or superhero and typically male-centered costumes. They empathized with the mother, one woman even saying her own son did they same thing but she stopped it early and that it was just a phase. They even went so far as to allow their younger sons to say, "Ew, that's for girls," and laughed about it. I was completely blown away at the sheer reinforcement of gender stereotypes when it comes to Halloween costumes. You are allowed to dress up and encouraged to be creative as long as it fits into the strict female/male boxes you fit in as a child. There are exceptions to these, like having 2 feet of snow on Halloween as a kid and having to have a costume that fit your entire snowsuit underneath...I was a pumpkin a lot...

To get back on point - we wonder why we're seeing so much gender stereotyping in the world when we're actively promoting it through a holiday that's supposed to be fun! Instilling this thinking of: you are a girl, therefore you are a princess and you are a boy, therefore you can only be masculine is completely deprecating to our society. Another massive elephant in the room during all of these interactions, that existed almost exclusively for the little boy, was the "issue" of him being gay because he wanted to wear a dress.

We're allowing and promoting sexuality-based stereotypes in these young kids that transfer through to adult life. Because a male is more drawn to what's viewed as "feminine" clothing he must be gay or homosexual. Masculinity is so typically tied into clothing and appearance that we can't stand to think of a heterosexual male existing in a more feminine way. What was put forth with this actress and affirmed with parents is the need to "break" this way of thinking, even though it makes the child happy. I just am so incredibly appalled that we could allow kids to feel ashamed because of their taste in clothing and expression. We're so progressive about same-sex and gender oriented rights and yet we're still teaching boys that wanting to wear a dress makes them gay and teaching girls that want to represent a heroic male figure that people won't find them pretty. I realize that this is just for one day, but it's not just a simple matter of them wanting to wear a costume - this creates a lasting impression of what is right and wrong for a child. Not only is this enforced by the parents, but perfect strangers are making children feel ashamed for the things they like.

They're kids! They like so many different things! I went through phases where all I wanted to wear was a corduroy bunny costume my mother made me - I wasn't trying to fit into an ideal "gender" role or make people happy - I wanted to be a bunny dammit! That was the same year that also wanted to wear this red corduroy dress and my Aladdin hair clip nonstop. 

I could have been whatever in sam-hell I wanted to be for Halloween and I was. I wasn't forced into a gender-specific costumes or looks just because I was a girl, the first girl grandchild in my family, to give some context. I'm still not that way now. My three favorite material/patterns are plaid, safety orange and camo and I still like men - according to society I am massive walking contradiction! I, as an adult, have gone into stores wearing camo workshirts and been called a dyke, an assumption based solely on the way I dress. Because I'm actively interested in male-centered things I'm supposed to be a lesbian and am looked down on because I actively don't feel comfortable in typically female clothing. This does not make me any less of a woman, nor does it mean that I associate more as a man then a woman - it means that if I could wear ONE outfit for the rest of my life I would not be choosing a dress! I don't go shopping and assume I can only buy clothing that looks feminine because it is 2012 and I can wear whatever clothing style I want - something that we're not allowing children to do.

Just because I don't want to end this post on a negative note, I've included a story that really just gave me hope for the future and brought on a serious case of the feel-goods. This article is about a German father who supported his sons love of wearing dresses and skirts by sporting a skirt himself out in public. 

His son was too scared to venture out in public wearing "girls" clothes because he didn't want to be laughed, so this dad in all his awesomesauce-ness found a creative way to make his son feel comfortable in his skin. "“I didn’t want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts. He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already, and after a lot of contemplation, I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself." Was the quote he gave papers for his decision. 

You can read the entire article here: 

I can say with a 150% certainty that my child will wear whatever the hell they want to, no matter what society deems appropriate for their gender. If I have a son and they want to play with barbies and wear dresses, that's what they're going to do - and I will not assume he is gay unless he comes out. If I have a daughter and she wants to wear cargo pants and monster truck shirts and play with cars then she's going to do that, and I will not assume she's a lesbian unless she comes out. 

Gender stereotyping and sexuality stereotyping is a completely medieval way of thinking in this day and age and although Halloween is truly just one night the implications of choices can last a lifetime.