The Boston Cream donut that broke me

I've had terrible luck.

I think that's the understatement of the year. From November 2012 to now it seems that life has made me the target for some really random terrible things - and a few great things (it's not all been downhill). This is a recollection of the events ultimately leading to a complete breakdown which was caused because of a donut.

This past week in particular was a prime example of how the world made me its used toilet paper. I finally was able to get home for a couple weeks - not under the greatest circumstances - but it was nice to spend time with family. I spent the evening at two good friend's going away party and came home to just relax. I slept amazingly, but when I woke up I was covered in bites/hives. Turns out my apartment was absolutely infested with bed bugs. 

Hey Kaileigh - Imma fuck all your shit up

Anyway, turns out I'm really allergic to these little bastards and broke out in a mass of itchy, burning hives. Called the landlord who sent someone that day (after much arguing). After a 10 minute spray down of the apartment the exterminator told me that I was good to go - but would be bitten for the next 10-15 days. That did not fly - not in the slightest. After much threatening the owner of the company decided to come out the next day to take a look.

Meanwhile - I had four hours to kill so I figured I'd get ahead on the adulty things and get an oil change and tire rotation. Quite proud of myself, I waited until the mechanic called me into where my car was - only to be told I had a seized ball joint in the right front and it needed fixing. So on the day my apartment was being sprayed for bugs I also had to fork out $730.00 in a surprise mechanic bill! 

Now I'm a pretty laid back person - so I took these in stride. I called my parents and laughed about my luck and just prepared to get on with it. After finding a friends place to sleep I started planning on getting my things cleaned and de-bugged and paid the man for my car (Scarlett and I are still not talking). It wasn't until a few days later - after I had met with the owner of the company who did nothing but assure me that I was going to be okay that things went downhill and it all ended with a donut.

I scooted to Timmies to grab a coffee and donut - because by god I deserved it - and headed off to load up on garbage bags. After getting through about half of the donut I realized that this Boston Cream had absolutely no filling. None. Nothing. 

I just kind of stared at in shock and ended up pulling over to just take this in. And then, sitting in my car on the side of Lakeshore Blvd in Toronto, staring at an empty donut I lost it. The entire world came crashing down and there was just no stopping it. I bawled - and not only did I bawl - I ugly snot cried in my car over my misery-pastry and coffee for what felt like hours. I fogged the windows up - I stared people down who were unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of me. 

I'll be fine - just having a little meltdown

I don't know why - but this very tiny, insignificant detail of my day ended up sending me into an emotional tailspin that left me sobbing in my car for 25 minutes on the side of the road, scaring pedestrians. I don't think that there has been anything to date that's upset me more than that stupid cream-less donut. I have absolutely no idea why something so small would set me off - I could have bawled in my car after the exterminator left but no - instead my entire existence stopped for a large amount of time because Tim Horton's screwed the pooch on giving me delicious (albeit stale) chocolate covered, cream-filled heaven in bread. 

UPDATE: 
After much arguing with my landlord - it was decided it's best to just GTFO from that apartment building - which began a mad dash to clean, pack and move me. Still working on it. 

Can still feel things crawling all over me at all times. 

My unhealthy addiction

I'm addicted. 
It's become this unhealthy addiction that is starting to single handed-ly rule my life. 

It's coffee. 
That sweet liquid of caffeinated heaven that has the power to make everything in the world seem like rainbows, puppies and kittens. 

I start my day in this drunken-like stupor, stumbling around the apartment trying to figure where in sam-hell I left my pants or bra while dodging a kitten who has decided that this is the time he wants to be cuddly. This is punctuated by the stubbing of toes or hollering at the cat who is eating the plant-again-even-though-we-discussed-this-and-the-fern-is-not-food-and-I-will-get-your-breakfast-in-a-second-just-let-me-find-my-work-pass-which-is-in-the-fridge-again-for-some-reason...

Normally I wait until I get to work to have my coffee, so my morning routine is simple:

• Up
• Get dressed
• Take off backwards shirt, but back on right way
• Feed cat
• Feed fish
• Feed cat- shit already did that
• Feed guinea pigs who have started a poop hucking anarchist movement by now
• Lock cat in bedroom so he doesn't eat my plant
• Leave
• Remember keys
• Leave again.
• Work
• Coffee coffee coffee coffee

Some people say, coffee really can't effect you that much (liars- all of ya,) but that is not so. This morning I started off my day changing it up with a chai tea latte, cause I was feeling le fancy. Instead of feeling like this:

 I feel like this:

I've been told I rock denim..I don't know

As soon as that not-so-sweet fake nectar of the gods hit my system my brain did a double take realizing this was not a double double..

This was not what my brain and I discussed was the plan. Yogurt and chai tea lattes are not what fuel Kaileigh's for the day- little known fact.
Also little known fact, if you quit coffee cold turkey after drinking it every day you are plagued by these wonderful little migraines that are comparable to a mariachi band doing a jig on your eyeballs with jacks.

This has to be healthy......


UPDATE:


:D :D :D

***Illustrated photos are copyright to Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half on blogspot (which you need to check out) http://www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/ 

*** Cat photo is registered and copyrighted to "Beauty in Everything"
http://beautyineverything.com/people/lpSkp6GVo5a4uKWe

***The Tims photo is mine