Adopt-A-Friend Friday!

I recently started volunteering for the Toronto Cat Rescue (sound familiar? That happens to be where this little stinker comes from).

We've always had cats growing up, so after months of debating I finally decided that I was going to adopt this 4-legged friend and bring him home. I hmm'd and ha'd over the right cat and after a few options Bowyn (previously Mitchell) was brought to me as an option. I went to go meet this little man and it was love at first sight.

If you need to ask, he's the one flat out on his back looking up at me. I couldn't help it. I was hooked.

A ton of animals (like Bowyn) need homes and I figured the best way to start this off is with the old ones. Senior pets are barely ever adopted, and senior pets always have a special place in my heart.


I'll stop blathering and start introducing:

 

Meet Mickey! He's an adorable 10 year old boy who is neutered, vaccinated and declawed. He's not a super cuddler but he is happy just to be around people and loves sleeping under blankets when nobody is around. He is micro-chipped and was rescued from a high-kill shelter.

 

Mick is a special old gent, as it was discovered he has kidney damage. He is on a special food and subcutaneous fluids twice a week, but please don't let that stop you. He's looking for a home that will provide him with an abundance of love and allow him to continue protecting you from laser toys - he's had a few years to practice.

 

 

In lieu of Toronto Cat Rescue's adoption fee a donation is appreciate to bring this man home.

 

His full profile can be seen here: http://www.adoptapet.com/pet7021532.html 

 

 

Are you interested in adopting a cat? Visit www.torontocatrescueadopt.com for more information as to the adoption process or to adopt Mr. Mick! 

Slut-shaming and an open letter to Krista Ford

                I really believe that –as sad as that is – the only reason that this story has made it into the limelight is that the girl is Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s niece. Regardless, it proves my point about the entirety of “rape culture” and the common misconceptions about it. It also shows just how empowered victims and support groups are about this.

                Krista Ford tweeted today after the string of downtown sexual assaults, “Stay alert, walk tall, carry mace, take self-defence classes & don’t dress like a whore. #DontBeAVictim #StreetSmart.” The tweet has since been taken down, but can be found to the article linked at the bottom.      

                Ford seems to be, unfortunately, one of the many people that are under the impression that the way someone dresses deserves them of sexual assault and that not looking like a whore will ensure that you’re not sexually assaulted. This seems to be one of the prevailing themes associated with this rape culture, that if you dress like a whore you should be treated like a whore or taken advantage of. I believe that whore is such an archaic word in this day and age, which honestly shouldn’t exist, like the word slut. Who is the reigning force on deciding what a whore or slut looks like? I have a little bit of a v-neck going on today, does that make me a whore? I’m wearing tight jeans, does that mean I’m a slut?

                No. That’s ridiculous! This whole culture that it’s appropriate to rape “whores” is absolutely gruesome. People are people, who cares what they’re dressing like. Why do we choose to actively persecute the victim instead of the aggressor? Ford made a choice to tweet this, instead of warning people to be on the look-out, she told people to #DontBeAVictim, carry mace and don’t look like a whore. It’s interesting that only women dress to deserve being sexually assaulted, what if the string of sexual assaults downtown were happening to men?

                I hate the “don’t be a victim” mentality. Loathe it. Yes, be empowered and stay alert to your surroundings, but you don’t know what people are out there. You don’t know who is going to think of you as their victim and clothes play only a minor role in that. People are not assaulting the clothes, they’re assaulting the person.

                Alice Moran, a victim of the sexual assaults downtown posted the following letter, which I can’t even begin to justice describing.

Dear a lot of people, but specifically Ms. Krista Ford,

In advance I’d like to say I am sorry. This is not the ideal situation to first acquaint oneself with someone and I am mortified. Sorry! However, under the circumstance, I feel like you owe me a moment of your time, even though we’ve never meet.

The circumstance being you called me a whore.

I should clarify: I’m one of the victims of the recent string of sexual assaults in the Annex. ‘Sup? It’s nice to make you acquaintance.

So, you’ve called me a whore. Here we are. This is awkward now, isn’t it? You’re probably wondering if I’m going to challenge you on having been a member of Lingerie League. I’m not, because I’d never slut-shame another woman. I believe you have a right to your body and regardless of how you do or don’t dress it I believe you have a right to respect and personal security. I guess that’s the key difference in our thinking. You could wear a t-shirt that says “I’m literally asking for it” and I’d still advocate for your security.

That’s what I’m asking for this brief moment of your day, for your edification. You’re a woman and you should know that your body is yours and yours alone. No matter how you dress it, you have a right – an actual Charter of Rights and Freedom right – to not be sexually assaulted. You are entitled to life, liberty and the security of person. Welcome to Canada – you live here! If you weren’t aware of your Charter rights, other Canadian things you may have missed out on are double-doubles, good maple syrup, and Beachcombers*, so check that shit out.

For the record, I was sexually assaulted while wearing a knee-length polka-dot dress. The last time I wore that dress, it was to Easter dinner at my Gran’s, where I’m fairly certain I could make little to no money whoring.

With due repect / sorry,

Alice Moran

Canadian / Comedian / Beachcombers Enthusiast

*I love Beachcombers.

                Since starting to write this blog the Toronto Star has posted that as per Twitter, Ford has apologized, stating: “I didn’t mean to cause such an alarm and I apologize if I did. I just want women to be safe.”

                I personally don’t buy the apology, as she didn’t apologize for what she implied, just that people were “alarmed”, however she only has 140 characters to work with. I really hope that she bucks and takes this as a learning opportunity and publicly addresses the comments that she made and the letter that Alice posted to Facebook.

                It’s ridiculous that in this day and age where we’ve got all this good there are still people that believe that based on what you wear you deserve your sexual assault.

                All of the props to Alice Moran, who in my mind is a brilliantly brave woman for standing up against this way of thinking in a way that is nothing but mature and well-thought.

 

Information taken from the following articles:

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/08/30/rob-fords-niece-tweets-dont-dress-like-a-whore
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/1249246--krista-ford-apologizes-for-don-t-dress-like-a-whore-tweet-hears-from-assault-victim

John Green: Apperently award winning author actually means pornographer to this woman.

                John Green is one of my favorite authors. I feel the need to tell you this because this blog post will be biased in my deep-rooted love for the way he writes. On Monday a mother, Caroline Ashlee, launched an attack on a bookstore for placing the “pornographic” John Green novel Looking for Alaska under with books that were “aimed for kids”. In the recommended section were books like Black Beauty and Flat Stanley.

                First off, I think that this is completely being blown out of proportion and find it ridiculous that this mother is throwing around the word “pornographic” in association with the book’s one very frank sex scene. What makes me very cross, as Ashlee put it, is the fact that the woman continues to explain herself as not being a prude, but that the book is unacceptable and that all the parents that she knows would think the same. When she was asked how “graphic” the scene was she just stumbled along saying that it was very graphic and she was absolutely disgusted. “It was pornography.”

                I’m going to get a little bit snippy at this part because I feel like parents shouldn’t micromanage their kids literature. Yes, don’t let your 16 year-old read 50 Shades of Grey, but for God sakes let them experience books. Young adults aren’t stupid, they are aware of sex, having a book that just frankly puts a sex-scene out there isn’t pornographic – it’s life. Ashlee asks what the author was playing at writing that novel, he was “playing at” making a fantastic read that has the ability to change lives. Sheltering teenagers into the “kid” section of a bookstore because there might be content you find offensive is ridiculous.

                I am and will always be an advocate for reading at any level. Personally, I think that reading develops an emotional maturity and awareness of things you would not have in necessarily in real life. The greatest example I can think of is a personal one. In grade eight or nine I read the book She’s Come Undone by Walley Lamb and in it contained some very graphic scenes of sex and rape. At no point while I was reading this did I think it was pornographic, I still don’t think it was pornographic. However, it was the first time that I was exposed to sexual assault and the idea of sex, in reading that I didn’t come away scarred for life, I didn’t start whoring myself out to the world either. I gained a series of thoughts on a subject, that before, I knew nothing about.

                There is a large difference in maturity from a child age 12 to a child age 16 and I think labeling a book pornographic only serves to provide a disservice to anybody with the potential to read this book or any books by John Green. I will continually advocate that his books have the ability to change your lives because they are so real. His books suck you in, chew you up and then spit you back out in a million little pieces that you put together afterwards, but not the way they were before.

                To me, that’s what a great book needs to do, destroy you. It needs to cripple you and enslave you to its pages and make you never want to leave it. Great books affect people in a way that changes who they are, they inspire you to do something, small or large or look at something a different way. I can honestly say this woman is as mad as a box of frogs for being disgusted by this book. Sex is not a disgusting thing, neither is growing up. Eventually you move past the Dr. Seuss books onto books that deal with real life filled with less rhyming.

 

Facts taken from the article Pornographic adult book accidentally recommended for children at Croydon Waterstone’s.

http://www.thisiscroydontoday.co.uk/Pornographic-adult-book-accidentally-recommended/story-16759776-detail/story.html

John Green’s website for information on his books can be found here:

http://johngreenbooks.com  

Airlines Suck: Delta Customer Service misbooks flight and lies, causing woman to miss her brother's funeral

Airlines suck. If they’re not smashing guitars and losing ten year-olds they’re making your lives hell. I’ve only had experience with Air Canada and Porter Air, Air Canada being comparable to a root canal performed by a blind-deaf man with no fine motor skills. This story however cropped up in relation to Delta Airlines and how they single handedly made a woman miss her only sibling’s funeral.

                To summarize, the woman’s only brother died and while trying to book the flight to the funeral they were met with the following challenges:

·         No bereavement rate for their flight (totaling $821.00 per person)

·         Flight rate increasing to $1,396.00 in the time it took to speak with the first agent’s supervisor while being on hold the entire time

·         Being asked to change the date of the funeral

·         Paying $1,642.00 for flights to find out that they had been actually booked on the flight that left 4 hours before they got to the airport

·         Being directed to the Customer Call Centre, which was closed after being told they couldn’t get on their original flight

·         Speaking to the head supervisor after the last flight to their destination had left only to be told that they had turned down two first-class seats that had remained empty upon takeoff by the second agent.

·         Being told that it was their word against the other agent’s, who had inputted that that offer had been made to them.

               The couple was eventually given their money back and two $300.00 vouchers to fly Delta but had missed all of the flights and missed the funeral.

                This story hasn’t gone viral yet, but much like what happened with Progressive Insurance, more and more people are turning to the web and social media/ blogging to hold companies and corporations accountable for mistakes. From a communications perspective, I think that it’s interesting the relationship with company accountability and blogging. If you have the ability to type and get your story out there, there are literally millions of people who can make sure that it’s read and passed around.

                As a human being I think that the fact we still have that level of service is ridiculous. People are so quick to look at opportunities to make money, rather than putting people first in any position. It’s the same thing in person, you smile at someone on the street and there more than likely to tell you where to go and how to get there.

 

All information came from the blog post: The Delta Customer Service Nightmare That Made MY Mother Miss her Brother’s Funeral by Jessica Liebman

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-delta-customer-service-nightmare-that-made-my-mother-miss-her-brothers-funeral-2012-8

Fat shame, fat shaming and being body-positive.

Recently, thanks mostly in part to my fantastic Tumblr crew, I’ve been on a body love and body acceptance kick. Having a good-sized background in media, I’ve been through many a discussion on how both men and women are portrayed in the media compared to everyday life. Of course, making my opinion known on the internet has come at the price of an onslaught of anonymous hate-messages filling up my inbox. It’s with this post that I’m going to address the big ones, not out of spite, but because I feel like these are the most common things women are told when they come out and love their bodies.

You loving your body is just you trying to validate the fact you’re fat and live an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle and are too lazy to change it.

False. Yes, I could be healthier, I could forego the coffee with cream every morning and cut out all the “junk food” that I love, but I don’t. I balance that with healthy options and plenty of exercise.

There’s a huge dysmorphic mentality about a “fat” person and their ability to be healthy. It seems that everyone and their dog want to be concerned with your health when you decide that as a fat person you’re going to love your body. There is barely a connection between size and health, except in absolute extreme cases. People honestly don’t realize that you can be fat AND healthy, at the same time! (Blasphemous, I know.)

Healthy does not equal thin. Perfect examples are the Olympic weight lifters and shot putters as pictured below.

Sarah Robles - Olympic Weight Lifter

 

 A perfect medley of Olympic body types.

 

These are not people that live sedentary, lazy lives. They are athletes! I’m not promoting unhealthy lifestyles by loving my body. I’m promoting the fact that ANYONE can be healthy. You can’t fat-shame someone into believing their unhealthy because they jiggle a little more than society deems acceptable.

People like you, accepting yourself as fat are contributing to the obesity epidemic.

                Ha! Yes, I agree there is an obesity epidemic currently and we can all strive to be healthier, regardless of body type but loving your body DOES NOT promote obesity.

                Obesity is measured through the BMI (Body Mass Index) chart that charts what your weight should be based on height and corresponding weight. Every height has a weight-range that indicates healthy, overweight and obese weights. The greatest part of that, is at 5’6 my top “healthy” weight should be 120-150lbs. At my healthiest, with daily workouts, modified diet, and three-times weekly horseback riding lessons I was not in this “healthy” weight. Meaning, that I will live the rest of my life either overweight or obese according to this chart, no matter how “healthy” I am. I believe that we need to look at a more complex way of measuring health and obesity than just this, because there are plenty, PLENTY of healthy obese and overweight people who happen to not be 6’8 to justify their weight.

 

People out there think you’re sexy, stop complaining

                Why thank you, I’m glad there are people out there that think I look good, I think I look good. Saying that, I’m not an object. I’m not spouting body-positivity so that boys/girls can look at me and think I’m sexy, I’m doing it so that I can hopefully empower women and men to love their bodies, despite their shape and what society deems of it.

                Being positive about your body image isn’t about looking for people who think you’re gorgeous enough to sleep with or have sex. This is not what this is about. I’m not looking for people to want to be with me based solely on the fact that I think I look great.

You fat people out there are shaming skinny women into hating their bodies for not having curves

                I agree that this is happening, and I DO NOT agree with it. The purpose of (and I can only speak for myself) body positivity is loving your body in WHATEVER shape that it comes in. Tall, short, thin, fat, straight or curvy. Body shaming as a whole needs to end, in saying that, to be considered a plus-sized women it’s my experience that you have to fight more to be allowed to love your body. Society is more accepting of “thin”, pretty women; curvy is starting to come back into the swing of things, but media and advertising still stresses that to be desired by “the perfect” man, you need to be thin.

                To be big and confident you need to fight twice as hard and face all of the advertising that just isn’t targeted to you. Who doesn’t read a magazine and love the clothes that are shown in there? Too bad as a bigger person you know none of it is being made for you.

                Body-shaming is a practice that society needs to stop. People are not meant to be all the same. We’re human, we’re unique, we’re not all modeled after the one “ideal” image.

I support and love curvy women, but only the hot and pretty ones that are all confident in themselves

                This is why so many fat women have such low self-esteem, there’s even a set of guidelines that you need to meet to be considered beautiful when you are bigger. People do have  a personal preference as to what they think constitutes attractive, I agree 100% that one person can have the choice to not find people 100% attractive all the time. It all comes down to personal taste, BUT, do not make yourself “body-positive” if you’re going to only accept the bigger women you think should be allowed to love themselves. If you’re abiding by that thought process you are only feeding into exactly what society on a whole is doing.

                Check your thinking, see who it affects and don’t label yourself as body-positive unless you truly are body positive.

You’re only body positive because you’re fat.

                I am fat, and if I wasn’t I would still be saying the exact same thing. Instead of being picked on in school for being thin, I was made fun of for being fat. That’s the background and the experience that I bring to the discussion, but I know people who are on the other end of the ridicule as well. I’m not bod-positive because I want people to accept me, I’m body positive because I know how a negative body image affects people of any size. You can call my fat and stupid and a lazy-ass if you would like, but I will continue to state my thoughts about body-shame.

                Nobody should ever have to feel bad about the way they look and someone’s personal health should not be a strangers concern solely based on the way that their body is shaped. To give context, I was messaged by a man in the US who “lifts weights and does cardio everyday” therefore “is an expert on what being healthy looks like”, enough of an expert to know that I’m fat and super unhealthy masquerading around as confident when I should just be ashamed. I know I’m not the only one who is verbally attacked by people like this and to all of them I say:

A) You are not my doctor, you have never had access to my medical records or health records. You do not know how healthy I am or am not. Your “concern” is misplaced ignorance that exists to validate your own personal body-image issues. Anyone who is confident in themselves is confident regardless of what other people look like. True confidence comes from not needing to bring other people down because they don’t look like you.

B) You are not an expert on health because you work out every day. I also work out every day and I am no more an expert than the next person who works out daily. Your fitness schedule does not dictate your ability to tell me what I am.

C) I am fat. Thank you for pointing that out, I’m also healthy and confident. Human beings  are complex and multi-faceted with layers. To quote a rather wise ogre, “Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers” Swap out ogres for humans and there ya go! (Shrek, 2001)

D) Cinderella, the only person masquerading confidence is the man who justifies his health and good looks on the fact that he isn’t fat.

Todd Akin: Because you can't get pregnant without consent

I was going to avoid this topic with a ten foot pole as the media seems to be content with pounding the crap out of this man, but as Todd Akin announced he was staying in the race; he also announced that “his party overreacted a bit” and “it was just a word in the wrong place.”

The background; in a television interview Republican Congressman Todd Akin made the comment, “It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare [impregnation of a woman from rape]. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down, ”after being asked what his thoughts on abortion under any circumstances, including rape.  He is obviously a master of the female reproductive system.

What could have meant? One thought could have been that he meant cases where a woman was raped; having had a man put his penis in her vagina and ejaculate without protection. The other being that in cases where a woman was raped in the above mentioned that if she were to get pregnant somehow an element of consent would be there.

Either way, Akin’s message clearly resonates; the female body will stop a pregnancy if she is raped. I think that’s an absolutely terrifying message to put for to women. We are human, we don’t come with a failsafe in case of rape. If your body has ovulated and you’re able to conceive and are raped, unless counter measures (Plan B) are taken, you can get pregnant, with consensual and non-consensual sex. Instead of accepting women’s bodies as being selective in the child-bearing process, why don’t we look at the fact that most women won’t go to a doctor or clinic for Plan B because they’re ashamed of their sexual assault? Why don’t we look into the fact that some women can’t afford Plan B after they have been sexually assaulted?

Akin stated that, “by taking this stand, this is going to strengthen our country. It will strengthen the Republican Party.”

This will strengthen the anti-feminist rape-culture that’s dominating our society both in Canada and the United States. By creating this “Failsafe” guarantee in women you’re insinuating that women have been created to be raped. Look, look, even if you do rape her, she’s not going to get pregnant, her body doesn’t allow that. Are you kidding me? Instead of focusing on the what a woman’s body can and can’t do, why don’t you focus on the fact that we’ve reared a culture that jumps to blame the victim before the rapist, before, during and after the rape.

We blame the woman/ for how he/she looks, what he/she was saying, her level of intoxication before the rape occurs. We blame the man/woman for not fighting hard enough, not saying no enough, not calling for help enough during the rape. We blame the male victims for being weak for calling it rape afterwards and we blame women for choosing abortion after they’ve been raped and have gotten pregnant. This is a culture that justifies the acts in all its stages, and chooses to elect asshats like this to back that thinking up.

**UPDATE
Will be posting a second post about rape culture, feminism and rape.

Nicki Minaj; possibly the worst role model out there nowadays

                I very much dislike Nicki Minaj I understand that there are people who love her music, I am not one of them. I can honestly say that as a person I really hate the way she portrays herself as well. That being said, I’ve never met the woman, I’m going off my impressions from interviews, videos and her conversations online with people.

                The latest Minaj blunder comes forward on Twitter where Nicki cancelled her show at V Festival and Dublin because of strained vocal chords. Fans reacted accordingly, some telling her that they were obviously very upset ticked that she cancelled. Instead of just saying that’s life, she took to social media to rant the hell out of everyone with the following tweets:

               Any photo without a picture indicates that it has been removed from Twitter, but as is the case with the internet once it’s there it never leaves. She begins by telling anyone who has a negative thing to say to her to #EatShitandDie, but only because she’s human followed by; if you can’t understand her then it’s obvious “your mother’s a WHORE. This rant ends with my favorite tweet- she shares her frustration in the final tweet with #killyafuckingself. I can hear her publicist face-palming and the internet gathering weapons now.

                First off, I don’t care how mad you are at someone; there is no rhyme or reason to tell anyone to go kill themself. Ever. Not only do you not know who would take that to heart, but that’s the behavior that you’re modeling for your younger fans. Remember those two cute little British girls that loved Nicki Minaj? What if that’s what they thought was the appropriate way to treat people when they were mad? There is no reason for this at all, I don’t care if you’re upset or hurt you DO NOT tell someone to go and kill themself.

                Secondly, now I’m not sure what anyone’s mother has to do with this conversation, but again like point listed above, this is the behavior you’re modeling for your fans. Instead of reinforcing respect and decency, you’re reinforcing that when you’re mad you can call someone’s mother a whore because they aren’t getting you.  Take a fucking breath. Calm down and then address people. Don’t shoot off like a primed and ready pistol because you don’t think people are treating you fair. You know what’s unfair? Someone’s child using the insults you feel you have the divine right to use, to another child in order to bully that child because their idol uses it. Cruelty for children and teenagers is like fire and you’re just gasoline.

                Finally Nicki, your tweet about not letting people make you feel horrible is exactly what needs to happen. I agree, not about your health but about everything else. Speaking frankly, you are a terrible role model, this incident just enforced this. I’m sure you have some very lovely qualities, but they are not the ones that you show the world. Women and men alike need good strong role models to look up to, not the ones that get mad an enforce behavior that’s leading to an epidemic of bullying and bullying-related suicide. I sincerely hope that you’ll stand up and be a role model that admits their mistakes and apologizes for everything you’ve tweeted about. You are human, we all are – we make mistakes. We also need to be the humans that own that and show people we are capable of admitting we’re wrong.


All information and tweets from the Hollywood reporter article by Jordan Zakarin
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/earshot/nicki-minaj-berates-curses-fans-363985 

16 year old girl dies after she's refused cancer treatment as it may have ended her pregnancy, which is illegal.

This story disgusts me. Disgusts me in so many ways, I couldn’t believe it as I was reading it. Please note that this story does deal with abortion and contain my views on abortion. These are not views that everyone will agree with and support and that is fine. Because this is such a sensitive issue, please refrain from commenting bashing people’s choices; if you do, your comments will be removed. If you want to express your opinion please do it in a respectful way.

The story is, a 16 year old girl died as a result of complications of cancer because she was pregnant. She was denied chemotherapy because it could terminate her pregnancy which is illegal in the Dominican Republic, where she lives. So after 20 or so days after she was admitted she was finally allowed treatment, the girl was 13 weeks pregnant and died after having a miscarriage and going into cardiac arrest.

First off, I cannot believe that there is a law that allows medical doctors to refuse treatment as it may lead to a miscarriage, in the case of a minor, the parent is allowed to make decisions in regards to their child’s health. Second, I cannot believe that in this case the life of the child supersedes the life of the parent. It’s common practice that if the mother’s life is imminent danger, the life of the child will be helped to the full extent but they put mom first. In this case, two lives were lost because they refused to risk the life of the baby and thus refused to treat the mother.

Speaking from the Canadian perspective here, I am glad that Canada has a law protecting a woman’s right to choose. I’m so glad that if that little girl had lived in Canada and this happened to her, she would have been put first. I realize that losing a child is something that affects a person deeply, decided on or not, however you cannot force a 16 year old girl to die because it may abort this child.

I am pro-choice. I realize that’s my right to decide and I realize that it’s others decisions to be pro-life. I respect every person’s individual choice, when it comes down to it I would just like that same respect if I was ever in that position. I realize that some countries do not allow for abortions and as much as I don’t support that option I can respect their choice to instill that. To a point, not to the point where they are denying medical care to a mother who is in dire need of it because it may abort the child.

To me, the worst part about this is that not only was the baby lost, but immediately after this 16 year old girl died, and her mother is left alone. A parent only wants to protect their child and when your country does not allow you to make the choices to save your child and not only do they die but your grandchild dies? I cannot even imagine what her mother is thinking.

                I think it’s absolutely disgusting that a mother’s life is viewed as that inferior to her child that at 13 weeks, that child dictates whether or not the mother will receive treatment to save her life. This story absolutely broke my heart and there is absolutely no reason, in this day and age, that this needs to happen.

Story details taken from CNN story by Rafael Romo:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/18/world/americas/dominican-republic-abortion/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Fat shame.

I am fat. 
I am. I have fat in my stomach, thighs and definitely my ass. I am fat.
I'm not looking for people to tell me, "no, you're not". I am. 

Society, media have all instilled in us that fat is a bad word. To have fat is bad. To be fat is worse. Fat shame is becoming an ever present issue in the world and is completely alike to bullying. The word fat has a negative connotation right from the get go. Seeing some fat on you in the mirror people automatically go, oh man I have to diet and work out and get rid of all this fat so I can look good again.

People can look good with fat, I know it's a very foreign concept, but just as women can look gorgeous thin, they can look gorgeous curvy, and yes, fat. 

Lovin' the fat
Nude painting by Alex Polak

Around two weeks ago, some random man standing by me on the corner of Dundas and University, looked at me and said, "wow you're fucking fat, you must have a lot of health problems, thank god I'm not as fat as you." People turned and looked at me, to see what my reaction would be. Instead of full on freaking out like I wanted to, I just settled for a simple, "Nope, no health problems, thank you for your concern, and somehow as fat as I am, I still manage to be better looking than you." 

There's this connotation with having fat and being fat that automatically means that you're disgusting and a slob. Yes, fine, I'll admit it, I don't always do my dishes right away (sorry Mom). As for being disgusting and a slob? Not so much. The way that we look seems to dictate how people feel we live our lives. Take me for example:

Ignoring the outfit, I am fat. I wear a size 18/20 - which is not something that I am ashamed of. Based on the size of clothing I wear people have determined that I am lazy, I'm a slob, I'm disgusting, I'm a pig and I must eat a terrible diet of junk food and processed crap. 

Actually, you couldn't be more wrong. I walk for huge portions of the day and love it. I'm not a slob or disgusting and I'm not a pig. I don't eat a terrible diet of processed foods and crap all the time. Despite all of that, this is my body type and I am not ashamed. 

There are people, a lot of people, who will turn around and say that because you are fat you need to be ashamed. Why? Why does fat have to be such a negative word? I believe that we need to take back the word fat, take it back and turn it into just another descriptive word, like brown haired, green eyes, that birthmark there, thin. 

So, don't be offended when people call you fat. Don't take it like an insult that only reinforces this word as such a negative one. When we stop giving the word fat the power to have such a negative impact on our lives, we stop giving these asshats power over us. I think that everyone should strive for a healthy lifestyle but sometimes life gets hard. Sometimes life gets hard and not all of us are strong enough to be perfectly healthy and happy all the time, sometimes we slip. We are human. 

The war of the centipedes: Day 2 - The battle of the drain

I feel like this should be written from the trenches instead of my couch. I was right about the first one only being a scout; they sent their first platoon last night. I’m just glad that they haven’t figured out that they can’t get out of sinks yet.

I'm on to you....

                I realized I’m not the only one fighting this battle; a lot of people in Toronto are having the same issue with them. My supervisor said that they like dark, cool places to hide and so they tend to come up through the pipes. I co-worker of mine mentioned a time when she was taking a bath and as she was in the tub and the water rose over the jets in the tub all the ones that were hiding in the jets started floating in the water.

                I’m never taking baths again.

                Ever.

                But on to the first battle, I went to go rinse out Bowyn’s food dish and refill the guinea pig’s water bottle for the night and I saw a small flurry of legs. I yelled for the cat to get back and immediately grabbed for the dish scrubby and bleach again. I was prepared this time. Instead of another one, three, THREE of these vile disgusting evil things burst out of the drain towards me. In true ladylike fashion I screamed, dropped the bottle of bleach and hightailed it out of their cursing like a sailor. The cat positioned himself under the bed again; he’s got the hang of this.

                I collected myself, resisted the urge to put war paint on my cheeks (ok it was body lotion- but it would have worked the same) and drew up my strategy. Knowing that they were in the sink and couldn’t get out I had time. If they went down the drain I’d just run scalding water and bleach down there for about 10 minutes and drown the bastards. My plan was simple; stun then kill them. Draw it out longer than before; they need to know that I’m serious.

                I grabbed a can of Bath and Body Works concentrated room spray (in salted caramel), the bottle of bleach from the kitchen floor and faced my foe. As I peered into the sink all three of them were huddled together, plotting no doubt, but I used the element of surprise to my advantage. Brandishing the room spray I doused them in it while their backs were turned and let me tell you, death never smelt so good. They wriggled around and tried to feebly launch whatever plan they had created, one deeked left, the other right and I grabbed the bleach and doused the healthy looking one, then the one on the left and then the right.

This is what I've been forced to become...

                I left them in the sink, in their death throws and told them to say hello to their comrade in hell. I’m in the business of death and business is good.

                There you have it, this retaliation on their end indicates something more sinister awaits. I’m prepared, I’ve stocked up on room spray and bleach. The cat is ready, I saw him practising his burying skills (he was actually going pee, but I prefer to see it as multi-tasking) the girls were chewing their carrots to sharpen their teeth and strengthen their jaws. Together, we will not be beat. We will win this.

Until next time.

Photos from:
House centipede
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/699812

Illustration by Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a half
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2010/03/spiders-are-scary-its-okay-to-be-afraid.html 

War of the house centipedes has been declared

I declared war yesterday night.

War on something so vile and disgusting that I was not able to contain my angelic-like composure – alright so that’s a polite way of saying I freaked the heck out.

Why? These things.

Oh hey look, I'm pure evil.

House centipedes.

Now, I’ve never seen one of these things before in my life and I was completely unprepared for its existence when I moved the plate from in the sink. But there it was, as soon as the light hit it was scrambling around the sink trying to get. I screamed and threw the tap on trying to flush it down the sink, but it was having none of that.

At this point, the cat is hiding in my bedroom because I’ve gone totally mental, I’m brandishing the Ikea dish scrubby like a sword and spraying the thing with Mr. Clean bathroom cleaner – which is proving to be completely useless. What creature isn’t impervious to Mr. Clean!? I had a good mind to write them a strongly worded letter, if you can’t kill a centipede how are you supposed to kill bacteria!? Finally, I grab the bottle of bleach from under the sink and start dousing this stupid creature in it, yelling to all of the house centipedes that may or may not be watching this homicide of their scout happen.

I finally get him down the drain and I’m standing in the kitchen in my pjs, hair everywhere, holding a bottle of bleach and the dish scrubby making the greatest war speech to have ever existed. Had Darth Vader heard this speech he would stopped building the death star and joined up with the good guys, it was that persuasive.

So, I’ve declared war. I’ve made the first move. They send their scout and I defeated him without mercy or remorse. Will more come? Maybe. Will I be ready? Yes. Until that moment comes I’ve crafted “The Guide to Surviving and Winning the War Against House Centipedes”.

·         Do not feel pity for them: That’s what they’re looking for; they’ll find a way into your heart just as quickly as they found a way into your house.

·         Do not use Mr. Clean: Experience states that they are now impervious to it. I’m assuming this is from all the prior attempts at being killed by it, they’ve just developed an immunity. Bleach is your number one weapon.

·         They’re fast: Like lightning fast, someone clocked them at going .4 metres per second. That’s too fast to be allowed to exist in a home. Work on your aim and trying to get them in a sink. If that doesn’t work, cardio is your best friend. You’re going to have to run faster than them.

·         They can’t escape sinks: If you can get a house centipede into a sink it will be completely at your mercy. It’s like throwing a fish on land. Keep bleach handy at all times.

·         They are not scared of Ikea dish scrubbies: If they don’t fear it, make them fear it.

Wish me luck, I will keep you updated.

I'm not religious: the deconstruction of my beliefs

That's a pretty broad statement and something that has taken a long time for me to come to the conclusion. To start, I'm Roman Catholic. I was baptized, christened, confessed and was confirmed. I went to an all Catholic school from JK-grade 12. I don't think that it brainwashed me or forced me to be a "true" Roman Catholic through my schooling. I don't regret or think I would have done better in the public school system. I'm not religious, but let me be clear, I'm also not Atheist. 

I don't denounce God, any God. I don't think that one religion is more believable than any others. I simply am not religious. Most days I don't think about religion to be honest, I'll see someone saying the rosary on the transit on my way to or from work and think about it again. It's not a thought process that last longs normally. 

Today I was sitting on streetcar and today, street after street, someone was yelling at people about hellfire and brimstone, demanding if people had found God and claiming that all the wrong's will be righted-if-you-could-just-open-your-heart-to-Jesus. In true Torontonian fashion I usually cruise by these people or avoid eye contact as the streetcar passes. Today, I stared unabashedly at them, not mocking, but thinking. This led to me actually going to church. I haven't been to church since the baptism of my baby cousin months ago, and even though, I'm guilty of really not paying attention to a lot of what's going on. I just went in and sat down. There was a service going on, and it went on around me. I had to seriously resist the urge to just take out my novel and read through the service. Not to be rude or disrespectful, but this place was just so...peaceful - for a lack of a better term.

There was this stillness that was almost inhuman, under all the human noises. A Catholic would tell you that's God's presence, I can't say if that's what it is to me. What if this notion of "God", is just that? A great stillness. Not a deity that created the Universe or man or animals or those Tim Horton's cups that only succeed in burning your hands, what if God is just still nothingness? 

It got me thinking, do other religious places have a feeling to them? What does a Balinese Ashram feel like? Or an Indian Temple? I started thinking a lot here, what if that's what "God" is, feelings? Not an in-the-sky-Deity, but a human feeling?

I know that people find comfort in religion, in knowing something bigger, higher than who are are, something neutral to our human feelings has our back. I think religion connects us on a very  intimate level because if you think about it, the greatest argument in religion is over what happens before you're born or after you die. Why? We're human! We don't want to blink out of the Universe and have it not mean something or have no reason other than we failed to continue existing. We want something to require us being gone, a high power that "needs us for something else". We think we're too human to be able to govern our own lives without these inhuman rules in place on how to treat one another.

This was when I first bumped heads with religion. I come from a very traditional Italian family, with parents and grandparents that don't believe in same-sex marriage for the reason of religion. I stand for marriage equality, maybe not within the Catholic church (they have the right to dictate who gets married in there,) but as a whole. I stand for treating people fairly no matter what they've done or who they are, whether they practice your religion or not. I stand for people having the right to decide on their faith. I stand for not discriminating on people for not sharing your values. I stand for above all, not classifying your faith as the "traditional values" faith. They are traditions to you and you alone, do not make the rest of the world abide by your traditions. 

I think that Roman Catholicism has been ruined for me by people. Weak, terrible people have found a large amount of power through religion. This power allows them to openly dictate how someone should live their life. I don't believe that any person has the right to tell you that you're going to hell, although that rarely stops them. 

I think the best way to lay it out completely is in letter form:

Dear Stranger;

I realize that we've never met yet, so I suppose the best way to start this off is by saying hello.

Hello.

I don't know if we'll become friends one day or if we'll even keep talking. Heck, I don't even know if you'll read this letter. I really just wanted to let you know a few things. A few really important things. 

First, I don't care what your religious background is. I grew up Roman Catholic, and stayed quite confined to that, please don't be intimidated by that. Do you have a different faith? I'd love to talk to you about it, but please respect the fact I'm also allowed to have my beliefs, I will respect your faith as well. I want to learn what you think about the world, we're going to be friends right? What makes you passionate about the world, what do you think when something goes wrong? What happens when we die? 

Second, I don't care who you go home to. Boy, girl or undecided. That is your choice, I just hope that they make you happy and that they treat you with respect and vice versa. If you need any support or someone to talk to about anything I will be here the best that I can. I want to be invited to your wedding, wherever it is. If you don't believe in marriage then I want to be invited to whatever kick-ass shindigs that you throw whenever. Even if it's just Thanksgiving- I can make a mean turkey. 

Finally,  I can't change the minds of the people that will say those hurtful things to you for not sharing their beliefs. If it meant turning myself blue in the face to accomplish it, I would. I promise, at the very least I would try. Don't believe the people that tell you you're going to hell. What am I saying, we might very well end up there; but on the bright side a lot of great people will end up there as well. I've always wanted to have an in depth conversation with a Buddhist monk and they're all going there apparently. I promise, as a friend, that you will have a safe person to talk all your opinions with, even if I don't agree or believe in the same thing you do. We're friends, I want to know what makes you tick! I hope that you can share the same in my thoughts, even though I did just kind of lay them all out here in a letter. 

Anyway, I really do have to run. The cat is trying to eat the guinea pigs again...Thank you for being my friend. I look forward to our conversations in the future. 

Your friend (and potentially cat wrangler);

Kaileigh Russell