Todd Akin: Because you can't get pregnant without consent

I was going to avoid this topic with a ten foot pole as the media seems to be content with pounding the crap out of this man, but as Todd Akin announced he was staying in the race; he also announced that “his party overreacted a bit” and “it was just a word in the wrong place.”

The background; in a television interview Republican Congressman Todd Akin made the comment, “It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare [impregnation of a woman from rape]. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down, ”after being asked what his thoughts on abortion under any circumstances, including rape.  He is obviously a master of the female reproductive system.

What could have meant? One thought could have been that he meant cases where a woman was raped; having had a man put his penis in her vagina and ejaculate without protection. The other being that in cases where a woman was raped in the above mentioned that if she were to get pregnant somehow an element of consent would be there.

Either way, Akin’s message clearly resonates; the female body will stop a pregnancy if she is raped. I think that’s an absolutely terrifying message to put for to women. We are human, we don’t come with a failsafe in case of rape. If your body has ovulated and you’re able to conceive and are raped, unless counter measures (Plan B) are taken, you can get pregnant, with consensual and non-consensual sex. Instead of accepting women’s bodies as being selective in the child-bearing process, why don’t we look at the fact that most women won’t go to a doctor or clinic for Plan B because they’re ashamed of their sexual assault? Why don’t we look into the fact that some women can’t afford Plan B after they have been sexually assaulted?

Akin stated that, “by taking this stand, this is going to strengthen our country. It will strengthen the Republican Party.”

This will strengthen the anti-feminist rape-culture that’s dominating our society both in Canada and the United States. By creating this “Failsafe” guarantee in women you’re insinuating that women have been created to be raped. Look, look, even if you do rape her, she’s not going to get pregnant, her body doesn’t allow that. Are you kidding me? Instead of focusing on the what a woman’s body can and can’t do, why don’t you focus on the fact that we’ve reared a culture that jumps to blame the victim before the rapist, before, during and after the rape.

We blame the woman/ for how he/she looks, what he/she was saying, her level of intoxication before the rape occurs. We blame the man/woman for not fighting hard enough, not saying no enough, not calling for help enough during the rape. We blame the male victims for being weak for calling it rape afterwards and we blame women for choosing abortion after they’ve been raped and have gotten pregnant. This is a culture that justifies the acts in all its stages, and chooses to elect asshats like this to back that thinking up.

**UPDATE
Will be posting a second post about rape culture, feminism and rape.

Nicki Minaj; possibly the worst role model out there nowadays

                I very much dislike Nicki Minaj I understand that there are people who love her music, I am not one of them. I can honestly say that as a person I really hate the way she portrays herself as well. That being said, I’ve never met the woman, I’m going off my impressions from interviews, videos and her conversations online with people.

                The latest Minaj blunder comes forward on Twitter where Nicki cancelled her show at V Festival and Dublin because of strained vocal chords. Fans reacted accordingly, some telling her that they were obviously very upset ticked that she cancelled. Instead of just saying that’s life, she took to social media to rant the hell out of everyone with the following tweets:

               Any photo without a picture indicates that it has been removed from Twitter, but as is the case with the internet once it’s there it never leaves. She begins by telling anyone who has a negative thing to say to her to #EatShitandDie, but only because she’s human followed by; if you can’t understand her then it’s obvious “your mother’s a WHORE. This rant ends with my favorite tweet- she shares her frustration in the final tweet with #killyafuckingself. I can hear her publicist face-palming and the internet gathering weapons now.

                First off, I don’t care how mad you are at someone; there is no rhyme or reason to tell anyone to go kill themself. Ever. Not only do you not know who would take that to heart, but that’s the behavior that you’re modeling for your younger fans. Remember those two cute little British girls that loved Nicki Minaj? What if that’s what they thought was the appropriate way to treat people when they were mad? There is no reason for this at all, I don’t care if you’re upset or hurt you DO NOT tell someone to go and kill themself.

                Secondly, now I’m not sure what anyone’s mother has to do with this conversation, but again like point listed above, this is the behavior you’re modeling for your fans. Instead of reinforcing respect and decency, you’re reinforcing that when you’re mad you can call someone’s mother a whore because they aren’t getting you.  Take a fucking breath. Calm down and then address people. Don’t shoot off like a primed and ready pistol because you don’t think people are treating you fair. You know what’s unfair? Someone’s child using the insults you feel you have the divine right to use, to another child in order to bully that child because their idol uses it. Cruelty for children and teenagers is like fire and you’re just gasoline.

                Finally Nicki, your tweet about not letting people make you feel horrible is exactly what needs to happen. I agree, not about your health but about everything else. Speaking frankly, you are a terrible role model, this incident just enforced this. I’m sure you have some very lovely qualities, but they are not the ones that you show the world. Women and men alike need good strong role models to look up to, not the ones that get mad an enforce behavior that’s leading to an epidemic of bullying and bullying-related suicide. I sincerely hope that you’ll stand up and be a role model that admits their mistakes and apologizes for everything you’ve tweeted about. You are human, we all are – we make mistakes. We also need to be the humans that own that and show people we are capable of admitting we’re wrong.


All information and tweets from the Hollywood reporter article by Jordan Zakarin
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/earshot/nicki-minaj-berates-curses-fans-363985 

16 year old girl dies after she's refused cancer treatment as it may have ended her pregnancy, which is illegal.

This story disgusts me. Disgusts me in so many ways, I couldn’t believe it as I was reading it. Please note that this story does deal with abortion and contain my views on abortion. These are not views that everyone will agree with and support and that is fine. Because this is such a sensitive issue, please refrain from commenting bashing people’s choices; if you do, your comments will be removed. If you want to express your opinion please do it in a respectful way.

The story is, a 16 year old girl died as a result of complications of cancer because she was pregnant. She was denied chemotherapy because it could terminate her pregnancy which is illegal in the Dominican Republic, where she lives. So after 20 or so days after she was admitted she was finally allowed treatment, the girl was 13 weeks pregnant and died after having a miscarriage and going into cardiac arrest.

First off, I cannot believe that there is a law that allows medical doctors to refuse treatment as it may lead to a miscarriage, in the case of a minor, the parent is allowed to make decisions in regards to their child’s health. Second, I cannot believe that in this case the life of the child supersedes the life of the parent. It’s common practice that if the mother’s life is imminent danger, the life of the child will be helped to the full extent but they put mom first. In this case, two lives were lost because they refused to risk the life of the baby and thus refused to treat the mother.

Speaking from the Canadian perspective here, I am glad that Canada has a law protecting a woman’s right to choose. I’m so glad that if that little girl had lived in Canada and this happened to her, she would have been put first. I realize that losing a child is something that affects a person deeply, decided on or not, however you cannot force a 16 year old girl to die because it may abort this child.

I am pro-choice. I realize that’s my right to decide and I realize that it’s others decisions to be pro-life. I respect every person’s individual choice, when it comes down to it I would just like that same respect if I was ever in that position. I realize that some countries do not allow for abortions and as much as I don’t support that option I can respect their choice to instill that. To a point, not to the point where they are denying medical care to a mother who is in dire need of it because it may abort the child.

To me, the worst part about this is that not only was the baby lost, but immediately after this 16 year old girl died, and her mother is left alone. A parent only wants to protect their child and when your country does not allow you to make the choices to save your child and not only do they die but your grandchild dies? I cannot even imagine what her mother is thinking.

                I think it’s absolutely disgusting that a mother’s life is viewed as that inferior to her child that at 13 weeks, that child dictates whether or not the mother will receive treatment to save her life. This story absolutely broke my heart and there is absolutely no reason, in this day and age, that this needs to happen.

Story details taken from CNN story by Rafael Romo:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/18/world/americas/dominican-republic-abortion/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Fat shame.

I am fat. 
I am. I have fat in my stomach, thighs and definitely my ass. I am fat.
I'm not looking for people to tell me, "no, you're not". I am. 

Society, media have all instilled in us that fat is a bad word. To have fat is bad. To be fat is worse. Fat shame is becoming an ever present issue in the world and is completely alike to bullying. The word fat has a negative connotation right from the get go. Seeing some fat on you in the mirror people automatically go, oh man I have to diet and work out and get rid of all this fat so I can look good again.

People can look good with fat, I know it's a very foreign concept, but just as women can look gorgeous thin, they can look gorgeous curvy, and yes, fat. 

Lovin' the fat
Nude painting by Alex Polak

Around two weeks ago, some random man standing by me on the corner of Dundas and University, looked at me and said, "wow you're fucking fat, you must have a lot of health problems, thank god I'm not as fat as you." People turned and looked at me, to see what my reaction would be. Instead of full on freaking out like I wanted to, I just settled for a simple, "Nope, no health problems, thank you for your concern, and somehow as fat as I am, I still manage to be better looking than you." 

There's this connotation with having fat and being fat that automatically means that you're disgusting and a slob. Yes, fine, I'll admit it, I don't always do my dishes right away (sorry Mom). As for being disgusting and a slob? Not so much. The way that we look seems to dictate how people feel we live our lives. Take me for example:

Ignoring the outfit, I am fat. I wear a size 18/20 - which is not something that I am ashamed of. Based on the size of clothing I wear people have determined that I am lazy, I'm a slob, I'm disgusting, I'm a pig and I must eat a terrible diet of junk food and processed crap. 

Actually, you couldn't be more wrong. I walk for huge portions of the day and love it. I'm not a slob or disgusting and I'm not a pig. I don't eat a terrible diet of processed foods and crap all the time. Despite all of that, this is my body type and I am not ashamed. 

There are people, a lot of people, who will turn around and say that because you are fat you need to be ashamed. Why? Why does fat have to be such a negative word? I believe that we need to take back the word fat, take it back and turn it into just another descriptive word, like brown haired, green eyes, that birthmark there, thin. 

So, don't be offended when people call you fat. Don't take it like an insult that only reinforces this word as such a negative one. When we stop giving the word fat the power to have such a negative impact on our lives, we stop giving these asshats power over us. I think that everyone should strive for a healthy lifestyle but sometimes life gets hard. Sometimes life gets hard and not all of us are strong enough to be perfectly healthy and happy all the time, sometimes we slip. We are human. 

The war of the centipedes: Day 2 - The battle of the drain

I feel like this should be written from the trenches instead of my couch. I was right about the first one only being a scout; they sent their first platoon last night. I’m just glad that they haven’t figured out that they can’t get out of sinks yet.

I'm on to you....

                I realized I’m not the only one fighting this battle; a lot of people in Toronto are having the same issue with them. My supervisor said that they like dark, cool places to hide and so they tend to come up through the pipes. I co-worker of mine mentioned a time when she was taking a bath and as she was in the tub and the water rose over the jets in the tub all the ones that were hiding in the jets started floating in the water.

                I’m never taking baths again.

                Ever.

                But on to the first battle, I went to go rinse out Bowyn’s food dish and refill the guinea pig’s water bottle for the night and I saw a small flurry of legs. I yelled for the cat to get back and immediately grabbed for the dish scrubby and bleach again. I was prepared this time. Instead of another one, three, THREE of these vile disgusting evil things burst out of the drain towards me. In true ladylike fashion I screamed, dropped the bottle of bleach and hightailed it out of their cursing like a sailor. The cat positioned himself under the bed again; he’s got the hang of this.

                I collected myself, resisted the urge to put war paint on my cheeks (ok it was body lotion- but it would have worked the same) and drew up my strategy. Knowing that they were in the sink and couldn’t get out I had time. If they went down the drain I’d just run scalding water and bleach down there for about 10 minutes and drown the bastards. My plan was simple; stun then kill them. Draw it out longer than before; they need to know that I’m serious.

                I grabbed a can of Bath and Body Works concentrated room spray (in salted caramel), the bottle of bleach from the kitchen floor and faced my foe. As I peered into the sink all three of them were huddled together, plotting no doubt, but I used the element of surprise to my advantage. Brandishing the room spray I doused them in it while their backs were turned and let me tell you, death never smelt so good. They wriggled around and tried to feebly launch whatever plan they had created, one deeked left, the other right and I grabbed the bleach and doused the healthy looking one, then the one on the left and then the right.

This is what I've been forced to become...

                I left them in the sink, in their death throws and told them to say hello to their comrade in hell. I’m in the business of death and business is good.

                There you have it, this retaliation on their end indicates something more sinister awaits. I’m prepared, I’ve stocked up on room spray and bleach. The cat is ready, I saw him practising his burying skills (he was actually going pee, but I prefer to see it as multi-tasking) the girls were chewing their carrots to sharpen their teeth and strengthen their jaws. Together, we will not be beat. We will win this.

Until next time.

Photos from:
House centipede
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/699812

Illustration by Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a half
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2010/03/spiders-are-scary-its-okay-to-be-afraid.html 

War of the house centipedes has been declared

I declared war yesterday night.

War on something so vile and disgusting that I was not able to contain my angelic-like composure – alright so that’s a polite way of saying I freaked the heck out.

Why? These things.

Oh hey look, I'm pure evil.

House centipedes.

Now, I’ve never seen one of these things before in my life and I was completely unprepared for its existence when I moved the plate from in the sink. But there it was, as soon as the light hit it was scrambling around the sink trying to get. I screamed and threw the tap on trying to flush it down the sink, but it was having none of that.

At this point, the cat is hiding in my bedroom because I’ve gone totally mental, I’m brandishing the Ikea dish scrubby like a sword and spraying the thing with Mr. Clean bathroom cleaner – which is proving to be completely useless. What creature isn’t impervious to Mr. Clean!? I had a good mind to write them a strongly worded letter, if you can’t kill a centipede how are you supposed to kill bacteria!? Finally, I grab the bottle of bleach from under the sink and start dousing this stupid creature in it, yelling to all of the house centipedes that may or may not be watching this homicide of their scout happen.

I finally get him down the drain and I’m standing in the kitchen in my pjs, hair everywhere, holding a bottle of bleach and the dish scrubby making the greatest war speech to have ever existed. Had Darth Vader heard this speech he would stopped building the death star and joined up with the good guys, it was that persuasive.

So, I’ve declared war. I’ve made the first move. They send their scout and I defeated him without mercy or remorse. Will more come? Maybe. Will I be ready? Yes. Until that moment comes I’ve crafted “The Guide to Surviving and Winning the War Against House Centipedes”.

·         Do not feel pity for them: That’s what they’re looking for; they’ll find a way into your heart just as quickly as they found a way into your house.

·         Do not use Mr. Clean: Experience states that they are now impervious to it. I’m assuming this is from all the prior attempts at being killed by it, they’ve just developed an immunity. Bleach is your number one weapon.

·         They’re fast: Like lightning fast, someone clocked them at going .4 metres per second. That’s too fast to be allowed to exist in a home. Work on your aim and trying to get them in a sink. If that doesn’t work, cardio is your best friend. You’re going to have to run faster than them.

·         They can’t escape sinks: If you can get a house centipede into a sink it will be completely at your mercy. It’s like throwing a fish on land. Keep bleach handy at all times.

·         They are not scared of Ikea dish scrubbies: If they don’t fear it, make them fear it.

Wish me luck, I will keep you updated.

I'm not religious: the deconstruction of my beliefs

That's a pretty broad statement and something that has taken a long time for me to come to the conclusion. To start, I'm Roman Catholic. I was baptized, christened, confessed and was confirmed. I went to an all Catholic school from JK-grade 12. I don't think that it brainwashed me or forced me to be a "true" Roman Catholic through my schooling. I don't regret or think I would have done better in the public school system. I'm not religious, but let me be clear, I'm also not Atheist. 

I don't denounce God, any God. I don't think that one religion is more believable than any others. I simply am not religious. Most days I don't think about religion to be honest, I'll see someone saying the rosary on the transit on my way to or from work and think about it again. It's not a thought process that last longs normally. 

Today I was sitting on streetcar and today, street after street, someone was yelling at people about hellfire and brimstone, demanding if people had found God and claiming that all the wrong's will be righted-if-you-could-just-open-your-heart-to-Jesus. In true Torontonian fashion I usually cruise by these people or avoid eye contact as the streetcar passes. Today, I stared unabashedly at them, not mocking, but thinking. This led to me actually going to church. I haven't been to church since the baptism of my baby cousin months ago, and even though, I'm guilty of really not paying attention to a lot of what's going on. I just went in and sat down. There was a service going on, and it went on around me. I had to seriously resist the urge to just take out my novel and read through the service. Not to be rude or disrespectful, but this place was just so...peaceful - for a lack of a better term.

There was this stillness that was almost inhuman, under all the human noises. A Catholic would tell you that's God's presence, I can't say if that's what it is to me. What if this notion of "God", is just that? A great stillness. Not a deity that created the Universe or man or animals or those Tim Horton's cups that only succeed in burning your hands, what if God is just still nothingness? 

It got me thinking, do other religious places have a feeling to them? What does a Balinese Ashram feel like? Or an Indian Temple? I started thinking a lot here, what if that's what "God" is, feelings? Not an in-the-sky-Deity, but a human feeling?

I know that people find comfort in religion, in knowing something bigger, higher than who are are, something neutral to our human feelings has our back. I think religion connects us on a very  intimate level because if you think about it, the greatest argument in religion is over what happens before you're born or after you die. Why? We're human! We don't want to blink out of the Universe and have it not mean something or have no reason other than we failed to continue existing. We want something to require us being gone, a high power that "needs us for something else". We think we're too human to be able to govern our own lives without these inhuman rules in place on how to treat one another.

This was when I first bumped heads with religion. I come from a very traditional Italian family, with parents and grandparents that don't believe in same-sex marriage for the reason of religion. I stand for marriage equality, maybe not within the Catholic church (they have the right to dictate who gets married in there,) but as a whole. I stand for treating people fairly no matter what they've done or who they are, whether they practice your religion or not. I stand for people having the right to decide on their faith. I stand for not discriminating on people for not sharing your values. I stand for above all, not classifying your faith as the "traditional values" faith. They are traditions to you and you alone, do not make the rest of the world abide by your traditions. 

I think that Roman Catholicism has been ruined for me by people. Weak, terrible people have found a large amount of power through religion. This power allows them to openly dictate how someone should live their life. I don't believe that any person has the right to tell you that you're going to hell, although that rarely stops them. 

I think the best way to lay it out completely is in letter form:

Dear Stranger;

I realize that we've never met yet, so I suppose the best way to start this off is by saying hello.

Hello.

I don't know if we'll become friends one day or if we'll even keep talking. Heck, I don't even know if you'll read this letter. I really just wanted to let you know a few things. A few really important things. 

First, I don't care what your religious background is. I grew up Roman Catholic, and stayed quite confined to that, please don't be intimidated by that. Do you have a different faith? I'd love to talk to you about it, but please respect the fact I'm also allowed to have my beliefs, I will respect your faith as well. I want to learn what you think about the world, we're going to be friends right? What makes you passionate about the world, what do you think when something goes wrong? What happens when we die? 

Second, I don't care who you go home to. Boy, girl or undecided. That is your choice, I just hope that they make you happy and that they treat you with respect and vice versa. If you need any support or someone to talk to about anything I will be here the best that I can. I want to be invited to your wedding, wherever it is. If you don't believe in marriage then I want to be invited to whatever kick-ass shindigs that you throw whenever. Even if it's just Thanksgiving- I can make a mean turkey. 

Finally,  I can't change the minds of the people that will say those hurtful things to you for not sharing their beliefs. If it meant turning myself blue in the face to accomplish it, I would. I promise, at the very least I would try. Don't believe the people that tell you you're going to hell. What am I saying, we might very well end up there; but on the bright side a lot of great people will end up there as well. I've always wanted to have an in depth conversation with a Buddhist monk and they're all going there apparently. I promise, as a friend, that you will have a safe person to talk all your opinions with, even if I don't agree or believe in the same thing you do. We're friends, I want to know what makes you tick! I hope that you can share the same in my thoughts, even though I did just kind of lay them all out here in a letter. 

Anyway, I really do have to run. The cat is trying to eat the guinea pigs again...Thank you for being my friend. I look forward to our conversations in the future. 

Your friend (and potentially cat wrangler);

Kaileigh Russell