Of giving yourself permission to suck

I feel like I've been really neglecting social media, specifically my blog. It's mostly because I've been swamped and just haven't had that "aha!" moment that triggers a post. Today I was surfing through Youtube and watched a video that a friend of mine liked. This video really brought up a valid point through this person's personal experience.

You need to give yourself permission to suck.

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It’s hard to give yourself permission to suck, harder than you would expect really. I mean every single message, advertisement and best pieces of advice always push you “to be your best”. We’re always told that it’s okay to make mistakes but just sucking at something is never really a mistake – it’s an inadequacy. We’re told and taught that it’s bad to be inadequate in life and that somehow it’s equivalent of rolling over on your back and giving up on the world. You know what? Sometimes it’s okay to roll over and give up on the world. Sometimes it’s okay to suck.  All sexual innuendos aside, sucking is a part of life.

It’s hard to face the fact that you can’t be good at everything; no matter what you do there will be something that you can’t be good at. Whether you can’t draw to save your life or couldn’t boil water properly if you tried, you can’t be good at everything. As a bit of a perfectionist and incredibly competitive person this is something I’ve struggled with a lot. I want to be good at everything. I wish I was good at everything. I will force myself into sanity death spirals trying to be good at everything. I loathe giving myself permission to suck.

I think that refusing to give yourself permission to suck only does you a disservice for one big reason. If you’re good at everything or always good at everything, the small accomplishments and the tiny things you perfect beginlose their meaning. I compare it to if someone gets a present every single day – for no reason other than getting a present. By the time their birthday or a special occasion to celebrate comes around getting a gift loses the ability to be special because getting a gift is just a normal part of life. Sometimes (most of the time actually) we thrive on that "HAHA!" feeling that you just handed life a big ol' can of whoop-ass and accomplished something.

The fact is that sometimes it takes time to be good or even decent at something. My parents will tell you that when I started hunting and shooting I sucked at shooting a gun. People who know me would laugh this off, but I kid you not. Not only could I not hit the broad side of a barn but the first three times I shot a gun I cried. After a lot of practice (or as my dad would say – a lot of wasted in money plugging away at dirt piles that didn’t deserve it), I’m a really decent shot. It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to suck at shooting that I could actually start to improve at it. I didn’t make illusions that I was going to make a guest appearance in the remake of Shooter alongside Mark Whalberg, I sucked!

I think one of the biggest biggest lessons that I’ve learned (and still am) is to not take yourself too seriously. This isn’t saying to never be serious, but there is a middle ground. Life is too short to not laugh at the things you suck at and have fun while you’re trying to improve them. Don’t make learning to do something a chore or you’ll never enjoy it and remember that you never have to be good at everything.