Renly Eats What?

I know I've seen some blog posts about all of the crazy, great things that their kids eat and while everyone knows I don't have kids of my own, I do have pets. Specifically cats, well a cat. 

Renly.

Renly is my one year old grey tabby with the weirdest affinity to food I've ever seen. I've started compiling a list of the things this cat will eat and feel the need to share. 

*****Disclaimer***** These are not foods that should make up a healthy diet in a cat. My meemer is just a crafty idiot who has perfected the snatch and run. 

The list:
- Baked chicken
- Pasta (with any kind of sauce)
- Hamburger Helper
- Arrowroot cookies
- Lettuce
- Toast
- Blueberry pancakes with maple syrup
- Banana muffins
- Blueberry muffins
- Chicken Parmesan
- Hamburger
- Ground bison
- Lynx (this may be viewed as a form of cannibalism)
- Beaver
- Moose
- Rice (plain)
- Butter chicken
- Red Thai Curry Shrimp
- Cucumber
- Broccoli 
- Dog food - of any kind....

Of female contraception

I’m mad. My friend Shannon can attest to this because every couple of weeks I whip out my soapbox and rant until my face turns blue or my fingers cramp. I figured it’s about time for me to give her a break from my bitching and just make a blog post about this.

First off, a warning. This post is going to talk about birth control and because of that the word “period” will be mentioned. If that word inherently offends you or makes to vomit uncontrollably please click the little red fuckity-bye button to get off this page. Also if you haven’t already noticed, there’s swearing…gobs of it.

Alright, yes. I’m mad. I’m pissed as fuck. The reason? Birth control, or rather the lack of birth control and the idiocy of drug coverage. First off, birth control for women, and no I’m not talking about condoms. Female birth control (oral, injection, intra-uterine) are all not free unless you have a drug plan, hell you want female condoms? Pray your bank account isn’t empty because that’s coming out of your pocket. Have an allergy or sensitivity to latex? Enjoy the chaffing and irritation because you are shit out of luck my friend! I find it so completely backwards that the person responsible for actually growing a human being has to go broke trying to prevent that situation while everyone thinks sticking a balloon on the end of the watering can solves everything.

Honestly, people wonder why pregnancy rates among young people are not going down by leaps and bounds. It’s not rocket science, when you make the most effective means of stopping pregnancy unavailable to anyone who doesn’t have a full-time permanent job with drug coverage, you are going to have unwanted pregnancies. When someone goes into their local health unit they’re immediately slammed with condoms, which seem to be handed out like bloody candy. No, I don’t want your latex fun bags, I want an affordable option for birth control that doesn’t involve the significant others baby-making anatomy, thank you very much.

I’m a recent University graduate. I have a mountain of student debt and because I’m a recent graduate I have a job that doesn’t allow me to spend money whenever I feel like it. I’m broke, basically. So taking into account a very tight budget, there is no room for the cost of birth control. When it was brought up to my doctor at a recent visit I was giving these as options: suck it up (basically) because you can’t afford it, find some way to come up with $300.00 up front for an IUD that may or may not work or go to the health unit for their cheaper birth control option. The cheaper birth control option being one that, having already tried it, doesn’t work at all – and they are almost always too busy pitching condoms at you really sit down and go over your options.

What I want to know is that if we have the money to bulk purchase latex condoms, which, if we’re being serious, are not all being used as they’re intended , why can’t we have proper female birth control options as well. We are not all successfully 30-somethings who have been working for years and have health plans – a lot of are just attempting to really start our lives.

Don’t be silly, wrap your willy? Let’s try, don’t be an asshole, offer female contraceptives as readily as male contraceptives.

How to torture an introvert - PART TWO!

Like part 1 states - I am an introvert. Okay, I'm like an extroverted introvert but an introvert nonetheless. 

So it's been through the past few months that I've definitely been thrown into some situations that have had me feeling like I shoved myself under a bus while simultaneously telling the driver to punch it. This has allowed me to add to my list of ways to torture an introvert. 

"You just need to get out of your shell"

It's not a shell. That prickly exterior is actually just me! 

It's not that I hate people - I do actually quite like people, I just don't like people all the time. I don't like to go out of my way to talk to people all the time because that stresses me out. I'm totally comfortable with people taking the lead occasionally because that's how I roll. 

"The fact that your bed is the most exciting part of your weekend is sad"

It's really not.

I spend five days a week surrounded by people - people that (while I love every moment of it) suck the happy juice right out of me with a straw. I need a day or two to just recharge and miraculously I get two of those days to myself every week! So I don't go crazy and go out all weekend - I don't recharge like that. Coffee and the internet binge for a solid 12 hours pretty much fills my happy juice tank.

Some people recharge by being with people. That's awesome.

Some people recharge by being as far away from people as possible. That's awesome too.

"You just need to be more outgoing - then you'll meet someone to date"

See that's a terrifyingly narrow way of looking at things. I can be outgoing - but more outgoing? That's like telling the Pope to be more Catholic. Why isn't being me enough?

It is enough. I am enough. 

I will still be enough in two years if I'm still single and still love spending weekends on the couch on my laptop.

"You're a PR person - isn't it your job to be outgoing"

Yes. While I'm at work.

And I am outgoing at work, I love going and talking to people and the butterflies that it still gives me. I love that nervous feeling right before I talk to someone new or call someone for the first time.

I don't have to be outgoing 24/7. I don't have a defaulted "outgoing" setting that doesn't have an off switch. The fact that people assume I am always out and happy and energetic actually is very stressful! 

"The reason you never get invited anywhere is because you hate hanging out with people"

I will admit - I am terrible at keeping plans with people. I always jump on the plans excitedly and then the reality of actually following those plans catches up with me. Either I'm exhausted from the day of or have a million things to do the next day and it's just all weighing on me.

It's not that I don't have fun when I'm out. I love hanging out with people - it's just that impending weight of knowing I won't have enough time to just recharge my batteries before the coming week and knowing I'll be drained by Wednesday. 

I love hanging out with people a lot - I just also love me a little more. 

Dog food is making me crazy

Dog food is driving me mental. 

I know that's not something that people often lose their marbles about but I seem to be locked into an all out battle with my 11 year old Golden's digestive system and the dog food companies. 

First off, I would like to apologize to the Pet Valu worker who attempted to help me. I didn't mean to be a total snatch to you but I am frustrated. When I explained the fact that my dog has severe allergies to chicken and WILL NOT eat fish please don't tell me that he'll eat your house brand's fish-based food because he'll love it. 

He won't.

He's 11 turning 12. That's like 72 in people years - that is plenty of time for him to stick to guns about not eating fish. Fish oil counts.

So does whitefish, pickerel - hell if it has gills let's just avoid it like the plague, because he will. I can guarantee you the only thing more stubborn than a pissed off Italian is a this dog faced with the prospects of dinner - au - poisson tonight. 

The other issue I'm having is where these companies are sourcing their ingredients from. Contrary to popular belief there isn't this big governing body over dog food companies that monitors them. I don't care about "real" meat being the first ingredient in his food, dogs in the wild and when they kill something that eat it eat everything! They eat the organs and bones and all that "nasty" things we think they shouldn't. What I'm concerned about is the fact I don't want my dogs food to be involved in a recall because they imported their ingredients from another country and it's been topped up with toxic fillers. 

Through this whole process I've learned that if you want to get a work-out just try the run around you'll get from dog food companies about where their ingredients come from. I don't want to know what parts of the damn sheep you used just tell me if it came from North America! I'm not asking because I want to jump on this bandwagon and lecture the shit out of you - I want to be an educated dog owner who knows where her dog food is coming from.

UPDATE

I realize that I never published the above article - but left it in draft. Since I wrote this I have found a dog food that meets my dogs nutritional needs and allergy needs that doesn't cost 150.00/ bag! 

After falling in absolute love with Nutro food I have been faced with the reality that they will no longer be bringing it into Timmins....

Stay tuned as the saga may continue.  

The Boston Cream donut that broke me

I've had terrible luck.

I think that's the understatement of the year. From November 2012 to now it seems that life has made me the target for some really random terrible things - and a few great things (it's not all been downhill). This is a recollection of the events ultimately leading to a complete breakdown which was caused because of a donut.

This past week in particular was a prime example of how the world made me its used toilet paper. I finally was able to get home for a couple weeks - not under the greatest circumstances - but it was nice to spend time with family. I spent the evening at two good friend's going away party and came home to just relax. I slept amazingly, but when I woke up I was covered in bites/hives. Turns out my apartment was absolutely infested with bed bugs. 

Hey Kaileigh - Imma fuck all your shit up

Anyway, turns out I'm really allergic to these little bastards and broke out in a mass of itchy, burning hives. Called the landlord who sent someone that day (after much arguing). After a 10 minute spray down of the apartment the exterminator told me that I was good to go - but would be bitten for the next 10-15 days. That did not fly - not in the slightest. After much threatening the owner of the company decided to come out the next day to take a look.

Meanwhile - I had four hours to kill so I figured I'd get ahead on the adulty things and get an oil change and tire rotation. Quite proud of myself, I waited until the mechanic called me into where my car was - only to be told I had a seized ball joint in the right front and it needed fixing. So on the day my apartment was being sprayed for bugs I also had to fork out $730.00 in a surprise mechanic bill! 

Now I'm a pretty laid back person - so I took these in stride. I called my parents and laughed about my luck and just prepared to get on with it. After finding a friends place to sleep I started planning on getting my things cleaned and de-bugged and paid the man for my car (Scarlett and I are still not talking). It wasn't until a few days later - after I had met with the owner of the company who did nothing but assure me that I was going to be okay that things went downhill and it all ended with a donut.

I scooted to Timmies to grab a coffee and donut - because by god I deserved it - and headed off to load up on garbage bags. After getting through about half of the donut I realized that this Boston Cream had absolutely no filling. None. Nothing. 

I just kind of stared at in shock and ended up pulling over to just take this in. And then, sitting in my car on the side of Lakeshore Blvd in Toronto, staring at an empty donut I lost it. The entire world came crashing down and there was just no stopping it. I bawled - and not only did I bawl - I ugly snot cried in my car over my misery-pastry and coffee for what felt like hours. I fogged the windows up - I stared people down who were unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of me. 

I'll be fine - just having a little meltdown

I don't know why - but this very tiny, insignificant detail of my day ended up sending me into an emotional tailspin that left me sobbing in my car for 25 minutes on the side of the road, scaring pedestrians. I don't think that there has been anything to date that's upset me more than that stupid cream-less donut. I have absolutely no idea why something so small would set me off - I could have bawled in my car after the exterminator left but no - instead my entire existence stopped for a large amount of time because Tim Horton's screwed the pooch on giving me delicious (albeit stale) chocolate covered, cream-filled heaven in bread. 

UPDATE: 
After much arguing with my landlord - it was decided it's best to just GTFO from that apartment building - which began a mad dash to clean, pack and move me. Still working on it. 

Can still feel things crawling all over me at all times. 

Confessions of a fat horseback rider

Horseback riding is one of my greatest loves - and I'm very sure it always will be. That being said it was a major thorn in my self-esteem until quite recently for a simple reason: horseback riding isn't a fat friendly sport. 

When you think of female equestrians you always think of these regal, willowy women on gorgeous horses. I mean look at the tack shops - finding apparel for a plus-size rider is damn near impossible and if you do it normally comes with a massive price tag. I know a personal issue I've had is finding boots/half-chaps. I've spent years and still can't find an affordable pair of field boots to fit my 18' calves. It's only in the past year did brands like Mondega started making an XL and XXL half chap (thank the pony gods!) As a plus size rider some days it feels like the entire sport exists to tell you you shouldn't be in it. 

I know I'm not the only one who has walked into a show ring and been snickered at. "Did you see the fat girl on the paint?" "That's so sad that someone would let her show like that." "That poor horse." 

You see I did hear the whispered comments, quite loudly. My reaction was what it will always be - slap on that show ring SMILE. When you get caught up in the politics of what people think you should and shouldn't do you lose what it means to love riding. I could tell someone that they need to stop see-sawing their hands because it looks like they're in a jazzercise class - but I don't. That opinion is not constructive - it's petty and it's judgmental. 

I think the comment that stood out the most came from a previous coaches daughter one day. She quite blatantly told me it was a shame that my horse was bought by "someone like me" because he could do so much more. 

I remember being so upset - she was talking about my size and the fact we had a capped jumping height with his 15'2 build - and it just bothered me. To be completely honest it still kind of does although he is no longer my horse. Someone didn't think I was worthy of a horse that I adored and that adored me because I wouldn't achieve their level of "appropriate" riding for that horse.  Then it hit me and I was reminded of one of the biggest thing I had forgotten about riding.

It's not about how big you jump, how many ribbons you get, how many champions you bring home - it's about how you feel. It's about tap-dancing for the last two hours of your work day because you are going to the barn after. It's about grabbing your horse and giving them a big ol' kiss using a stupid baby voice. It's about bad days and good days (for both of you) and it's most definitely NOT about the size of your ass. Yes, as a plus-size rider you can't ride tiny little ponies or even some horses - and that's not insulting that's just your limitations. It's comparable to not putting a beginner on a 3 year old OTTB who is completely wired all the time. 

All the dialogue aside - I've compiled my list of Kaileigh Russell's Fat Rider Survival Guide:

1. Surround yourself with good horse people - just like everywhere else people suck. Don't feel like you need to suck up and be friends with people who don't feel you're worthy of them. They're right, you're not - you're capable of seeing past someone's looks.
2. Ignore the comments - this one is hard, trust me. People will be quick to tell you you're too fat to ride, whether that's friends, coaches or even tack store associates. These are not the people that spend hours with your horse, walk them when they colic, work them through their bad days. These people don't want to face the fact that they might be shown up by a fat rider not wearing field boots because they don't come in their f***ing size.
3. Know your limits - You won't be able to ride everything or jump everything. It's not insulting, it's not rude - it's the truth. Don't let people belittle you and make that fact a condescending dig. EVERY single rider has limits - no matter their size. 
4. Don't take peoples crap - whether you call them on their ignorance or just walk away, you don't have to put up with it. If you can get a 1000+ pound animal to stop being a turd then I completely believe you can tell someone to go the hell away. 
5. You can do anything you want if you put your mind (and ass) to it. 
6. If it's not constructive - it's white noise. Someone telling you fat people are ruining the horse industry compared to someone telling you how to balance yourself as a bigger rider are not both advice. Pick which one you'd rather hear.
7. People suck - horses don't. Your horse will not tell you you look fat in those breeches. Your horse will not tell you you're disgusting and your horse will never tell you you don't deserve to have them. Remember that - at the end of the day it should be about you and your horse, not you and the peanut gallery. 

How to torture an introvert

I am an introvert.
Being an introvert I’ve been subject to having who I am treated like a flaw, something that I can just get over easily to become a better person. I was chatting with a good friend of mine about an incident that happened recently that’s left me all anxious and blah when I started thinking….There are a lot of things that exist in the world that we’re forced to do for jobs, sports and school that just don’t take into account introverted personalities at all. So – I’ve compiled a list based on my own experience!

Ice Breakers (aka Introvert Breakers)
I worked in a residence for two years and one of the biggest part of team building was the ice breakers. I always was filled with a sick sense of dread that I’d shove down and cover with a big smile when inside I was peeing my pants at icebreakers. There were butterflies, hornets, little men with jackhammers all up in my stomach – but I did those ice breakers. Now, I didn’t feel like they made me closer to my teammates, I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything useful – I just felt drained. Always.

I was always confused why ice breakers are so prominent everywhere. If you think about it – ice breakers are basically introvert breakers. They don’t allow the quiet people who thrive on coming out of their shell gradually do that – they basically (mentally and emotionally) strip you naked and throw you to the wolves. Shouldn’t team building focus on building the team up with all its different parts – not just implying all those parts need to be identical?

I’ve noticed that after these ice breakers (which always happen at the beginning of an event) I always felt drained. Just empty – and at that point you almost always have a full day of activities ahead of you. So you have the extroverts who recharge on those activities – and the introverts who burn it like diesel and by the end of the day only the extroverts look like team players. By the time free-time was available I was always ready to just find a quiet spot alone and try to pour just a little bit of gas in my tank because I was even out of fumes by that point.

- Please if you’re a leader of any kind and thinking about doing ice breakers please incorporate ice breakers that are introvert friendly!

Public Speaking

I hate public speaking, I absolutely hate it.

There is nothing appealing about stepping in front of people and trying to sound like an intelligent, coherent human being.

And that`s why global warming is terrible!

I picked a career that requires a lot of public speaking and I’ve learned to just get used to it but to me it ranks under getting my stitches without freezing (at least they only took a few minutes). I’ve had great times public speaking but I’ve always ended up feeling like I need to spend six days in bed afterwards I’m so tired. It’s difficult for me to keep up that high, engaging energy level that comes with good public speaking – because great public speakers are often looked at as extroverts. People expect high energy, engaging individuals to pump them up – and for an introvert that’s the equivalent of sucking the life force of them.

Solitude isn’t good for you

This one is the most relevant for me right now, this is the one that just left me a bit drained today. It’s the notion that every single person is able to and should relax by hanging out with people and that when you do want to spend time alone you’re an anti-social weirdo.

I need time to recharge and just be alone. I love hanging out with people, I adore my friends and family but after a full day of being high energy, motivated and working hard a day alone is beautiful. It’s not because I hate people or I don’t want to be with people, it’s because I need to recharge. It’s assumed that every single person should recharge going out with friends or being outside of the house. Seriously, some days I feel like I’m just some peeping Tom starring at my bed.

It`s okay baby, one day, one day I`ll get you

I’ve had weekends that have gone from no plans to ten plans in a matter of hours and instead of being pumped for the weekend and not working I feel even more tired. I either shut down completely to cram everyone into one hellish day that leaves me scrambling emotionally to prepare for the next one.

Susan Cain said it absolutely best, “Solitude matters and for some people it is the air that they breathe”. Solitude is my air sometimes and I think because the vast majority of my friends are wonderful extroverts it gets forgotten. By the end of the week sometimes it feels like I’m just drowning under the weight of absolutely all the social things I’ve accepted and done to myself, counting down the days until I can just breathe.

I think it’s really really important to remember that being introverted is not a flaw. Introverts don’t strive to be more extroverted because that’s not who we are. There’s this spectrum to extroversion and introversion and no one person falls in the exact same spot on that spectrum. Extroverts are absolutely awesome, and so are introverts – they just go about it in a different way. 

**All photos copyrighted to Allie Broshe of Hyperbole and a Half