And all you're ever going to be is mean.

The Amanda Todd story has been making headlines everywhere so it's really no surprise that this has been a story that made me think. A friend of mine and I went out to dinner and just talked about Amanda's story and just bullying in general; this got me thinking further and I suppose this post is just a summation of my thoughts on the whole thing. 

First off, talking about Amanda's story - if you don't know what this is about please read this before you continue on. This is most definitely not the first person I've read about that's committed suicide due to bullying and unfortunately I know this will not be the last. I think what's the most disturbing, other than the fact that 15-year old girl committed suicide,
is that afterwards people are disputing whether or not she deserves the sympathy and people are still bullying her online – after her death.

I think the biggest thing that everyone forgets is that this girl was 15 – she was still a baby. She didn’t even fall under the legal sexual age of consent in Canada (which is 16). She was dealing with things that even I, at 21 years old, would find tough – and she was doing them at 15. It got me thinking, why do we look past the age based on the type of bullying that’s going on? This girl was sexually abused and sexually exploited, not physically, but sexual abuse doesn’t have to be physical. She was abused but our culture says that she put herself in that situation at 15 and thus deserves the title of skank, slut and whore. We don’t throw any blame at the person who posted those photos, but yet again blame the victim. Shouldn’t we be there, supporting someone who was sexually exploited at such a young age? Canadian law does not allow for the fabrication or possession of child pornography and that’s exactly what this is. Why hasn’t this person been charged? “She’s a slut – she deserves it” is a disgusting mentality, the fact she’s had so many people tell her to go die or go kill herself is heartbreaking.

Now, I grew up in a small-ish Northern Ontario town and knew most of my graduating class from elementary school, but honestly there was no bullying to this magnitude. Without sounding like “kids these days,” is bullying actually morphing into something way beyond the coping skills of pre-teens? I honestly think so, I mean you had boyfriends and girlfriends at 15, but you held hands and then went home and maybe, maybe *gasp* made out. There were no naked photos posted on the internet or Facebook to verbally attack people for being sluts.  Has social media actually created a super easy platform to just bully the crap out of people? Yes. A thousand times yes. Kids are cruel, but now they’re cruel with wifi access and photoshop.
I found this on Tumblr last night.

 

Now, I’m not sure if it’s true, it very well might not be – but for argument’s sake, let’s say it is. This picture disgusts me. Not the comparison, or downplaying of another person’s suicide but the fact that it’s so easy to just ignore the backstory of a person as long as they fit our requirement for funny internet content. I’ve seen this photo attached to memes everywhere and then saw this comparative photo and couldn’t help but feeling terrible for not wondering who this boy is. How terrible is it that he could have been bullied to the point of suicide for his looks and doesn’t even get the decency of not being bullied for them after his death? Are we that ignorant as a culture we don’t even think of the person behind a photograph anymore as long as that photo is part of something funny? I realize that this isn’t everyone, but take for example Matthew Lewis, the actor who played Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter. Up until he hit puberty everyone thought he was ugly, and it wasn’t until he wasn’t “ugly” any more people began to get incredibly mean about saying that. I know, I was one of those people and it honestly didn’t even hit me until yesterday that, although I didn’t take to the internet with it, I was completely okay chalking up this guys’ worth by the way he came out of puberty. It’s disgusting. I was disgusted with myself for it.

Honestly, I just don’t have the right words for the calibre of bullying that is present currently. 12 year-olds with Iphones and calling other kids “dumb cunts”, and that’s okay – even within my generation, the bullying just continues to ramp up like it’s following some ridiculous curve from the younger ones.

We can justify making fun of one “ugly” guy meme and think it’s hilarious but we feel absolutely terrible when a young girl or boy commits suicide. It’s such backward thinking on an issue that’s so important. What if every single person you told do go die actually did? How many deaths would you have caused because you didn’t like the person, thought they were a slut or just too weird to exist? Honestly, hold yourself accountable for your own words because nobody else might. We can be our own biggest critic but we can be our own biggest motivator to rip someone apart.

Start thinking about the way you treat people, the homeless guy on the corner, the girl you think is absolutely ugly. Make it a habit to keep your own ignorance (and we all have them) and biases to yourself. Stand up against bullying and not just on the internet. Those people that need help exist beyond the keyboard and so should your help.